And all my schemes drowned at the seams: WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT.

When the Lights Go Out by Mary Kubica

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


Jessie Sloane's mom has passed away, but before doing so, she encouraged Jessie to find herself. Jessie decides to apply to college, but the college flags her social security number. Apparently it belongs to someone who is deceased. As Jessie attempts to unravel the bureaucracy behind her application, she becomes more and more convinced that something is up with her past. Even worse, her thoughts are jumbled by the fact that she hasn't slept well since her mother's death. She's no longer able to tell what's truly happening around her. What's the story with her identity? And is she crazy or is something sinister going on in her life?


"Find yourself, Mom told me. One of two wishes she had for me before she died. Maybe she didn't mean for me to apply to college. Maybe it was far less esoteric than that. Maybe it was quite literal. Find yourself, she said, because Jessie Sloane isn't you."


Well, I'm not so sure about this one. The novel goes back in forth in time between present-day Jessie and her story and a woman named Eden, whose story mainly takes place in the 1990s. Eden's timeline varies a bit though, which makes it hard to keep track of. (At least for me.) A lot of Eden's storyline revolves around infertility, which I thought was handled very well. As someone who has struggled with that, I identified with her and probably liked the book a bit more just because of that.

As for Jessie and her tale, it was definitely creepy at times, which is something Mary Kubica can do very well. With her sleep deprivation, Jessie is the ultimate unreliable narrator, and it's very hard to tell if she's crazy or what on earth is happening. At times, it seems as if the book is leading you down a particular path, but you're never exactly sure who or what to trust.

And then, of course, there's that twist. I'd heard a lot about it, so I was expecting something, but with Kubica, it's hard to know what. I'll admit, it wasn't this. I had sort of figured out where things were leading, but it didn't diminish how cheated I felt by the ending. I've seen a lot of reviews where folks loved it and others where they didn't--I just felt letdown. I won't go further so as to avoid spoilers, but know that it did diminish my overall enjoyment of the book. And while I wasn't loving it entirely--it's sort of a jumble of confusion and weird characters--the ending deflates what I did enjoy.

Overall, this is a creepy book in many ways, with a story that befuddles but intrigues you. It's compelling but the ending diminishes a lot of the early drama and excitement. 3 stars.

I received a copy of this novel from the publisher and Netgalley/Edelweiss in return for an unbiased review (thank you!).



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