Shouldn’t I hear the future calling me: IF I DIE TONIGHT.

If I Die Tonight by Alison Gaylin

My rating: 4.5 of 5 stars


Havenkill is a pretty quiet town--mostly focused on its football team. So when a washed up 80s rockstar named Aimee En stumbles into the police station in the middle of the night, claiming someone carjacked her Jaguar and then ran over a teenage boy who was trying to help, it receives a lot of police and media attention. The young teen's name was Liam--a star on the football team--and he's quickly portrayed as a hero for trying to save Aimee and her vehicle. Suspicion turns fairly soon to another local teen, Wade Reed, a social outcast, who is vilified by his peers and the local media. His younger brother, Connor, struggles as his own friends distance themselves in the wake of Wade's alleged actions. And Pearl Maze, a member of the Havenkill police force, who was there when Aimee arrived, isn't sure how real Aimee's story actually is.

The novel's story is told via short snippets of narrative from a varied cast of characters, including Pearl, Aimee, Connor, and Connor and Wade's mom, Jackie. It's effective--and effectively frustrating, as you find yourself wanting to know more about what happened the night Liam died. The book sucks you in immediately via this format and its excellent, well-drawn characters. These characters are complex, as are the relationships between everyone in the novel. Nothing is as it seems, and everyone is hiding more beneath their surface (and the past). I was shocked at how well-done these interconnected relationships were and how much I wanted to keep reading. I felt such allegiances to particular characters and such distaste for others. Pearl, Jackie, even Wade and Connor--they were magnificently written and the book was just so well-done. I was really impressed by this one.

Pearl, for instance, was such a complicated character, with such a nuanced backstory. She was an excellent cop, and I found myself immediately rooting for her. She was so smart. Gaylin did a wonderful job of portraying how small towns deal with tragedy and how social media can influence opinion--and how it can affect teens. It was really powerful. As the novel wears on, you're not exactly sure who to trust--or exactly what happened the night Liam died--and I couldn't stop myself from obsessively turning the pages, trying to figure out what happened. Even though the novel is very character-focused, it's suspenseful too and focused on the Liam mystery.

Overall, this was great and such a pleasant surprise. I love requesting an ARC of an author I've never read before and discovering such a great story. This was a suspenseful read, with an excellent, well-written cast. I'm looking forward to reading more of Gaylin's work. 4+ stars.

I received a copy of this novel from the publisher and Edelweiss in return for an unbiased review (thank you!); it is available everywhere as of 03/06/2018.

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