There is so much more inside me now: DETRANSITION BABY.

Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters
My rating: 3.5 of 5 stars

A meandering but insightful look into the lives of an interconnected trio

Reese and Amy nearly had it all--a loving relationship, an apartment, and safety in each other: something extremely difficult for trans women to find. But that all changes when Amy decides to detransition and become Ames. Now Reese feels lost and alone, turning to her old patterns of sleeping with men who treat her poorly. And Ames isn't particularly happy either, though he's found a sort of comfort in his relationship with his boss, Katrina. But when Katrina discovers she's pregnant--with Ames' child--Ames is forced to confront a lot of his fears about masculinity and fatherhood. He also wonders if it's a chance for family. Reese has always longed for a baby; could he, Reese, and Katrina raise this child together?

"Somewhere, somehow, Amy did the impossible. She got herself a baby."

I love that this diverse book was my 300th read for Netgalley. I love love love that there is a story about trans women being celebrated and heralded on "must read" lists. I enjoyed so much about this book. Reese and Amy are detailed and realistic characters who--to me at least--did not seem stereotypical or one-dimensional. I felt like I learned so much reading their raw, emotional, and lovely story.

The tale of Ames becoming a parent--and wanting to involve Reese--was an interesting and dynamic one for me. I could completely understand Reese's longing for motherhood and how she felt on the outside looking in. This part of the book was original and fascinating. Pieces of the story were utterly hilarious, despite some of the serious subject matter. There is a chapter where Reese attends an essential oils party with Katrina and other straight/cis women that made me laugh out loud. Peters captures her voice so perfectly. There's a vulnerability and realness to Reese that makes her a captivating character from the start.

"Reese had already diagnosed her own problem. She didn't know how to be alone. She fled from her own company, from her own solitude."

The hardest part for me about this book had nothing to do with its subject matter (if that's a problem for you, you're the problem), but the fact that it veers between the past and the present, going on tangents about Reese and Amy's past. Sometimes it seemed like it just needed a strong edit, with someone willing to strike about half of those passages. Or perhaps I just wanted to get on with the present, the impending baby, and Reese, Katrina, and Ames' story. I'm not sure. But I was nearly compelled to skim some of these long passages. It was just a lot. And then, after all that, the book just sort of ended, to me, without much resolution, and I felt a bit betrayed.

Still, do not get me wrong. This is an excellent and important story, and more such stories like this need to be told. I definitely recommend it, and I bet any forthcoming books from Peters will only get better and better. 3.5 stars.

I received a copy of this book from Netgalley and Random House in return for an unbiased review.

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