Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end: THE GIRLS I'VE BEEN.

The Girls I've Been by Tess Sharpe
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

THE GIRLS I'VE BEEN is the nineteenth book in my author challenge.

Nora grew up the daughter of a con-artist. Her mom used her as an accomplice to pull off her many cons. But when her mom fell for her latest mark and married him, Nora used her only escape hatch, her half-sister, and fled her poisonous old life. She's spent five years living with her sister and leading a "normal" life. This includes a former boyfriend and now best friend, Wes, and her new girlfriend, Iris. Both Wes and Iris are with Nora one morning at the bank, depositing money they've raised together for charity. But everything goes horribly wrong in an instant when someone pulls a gun, and they realize they're in the middle of a robbery.

"And the third thing I think is We're all gonna die because I waited for bacon donuts."

This was a fast read, divided into four parts, mostly all taking place during the robbery. It's very compelling. The story is told in Nora's voice, as she details the bank robbery and then reflects upon her past and the girls she's "been"--aka the girls she was forced to be during each con her mom forced upon her. We learn about how Nora became who she is and realize her past is complicated and often tragic. How will Nora's past affect this robbery?

This book is exciting in that it depicts a high pressure bank robbery, but is also complex, delving back into Nora's dark past. Please note that it covers topics such as sexual assault, rape, and abuse. It also looks at friendship, though, and Nora's relationships with Wes and Iris are really excellent and wonderfully portrayed. It's nice to see a teen book so respectfully portray bisexuality. I love the idea of found family and it's a strong central theme here.

This book can be brutal, but it's also touching and insightful. I really enjoyed learning more about Nora's past (although it could be sad). This story is twisty and compelling. 4+ stars.

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I struggle with some demons, they were middle class and tame: HORROR STORIES.

Horror Stories: A Memoir by Liz Phair
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

HORROR STORIES the sixteenth book in my alphabetical author challenge. It is Liz Phair's memoir, featuring snippets of her version of horror, which she deems every day moments that can make us who we are. These moments can form us into who we are as the small indignities we suffer can affect us just as much as the bigger moments of our lives. Rather than go into the more traditional look at her life and career, Phair focuses on such moments: a particularly bad relationship; memories from college of ignoring a girl passed out at a club; being trapped in a NYC blizzard; and more. She zeroes in on these incidents and how they affected her.

"Horror can be found in brief interactions that are as cumulatively powerful as the splashy heart-stoppers, because that's where we live most of our lives."

This is definitely not a traditional memoir. I'm pretty sure I'm not cool enough to read something like this, because I think I would have enjoyed a linear tale more, or least learning more of the mundane "stuff" about Phair's career. She grew up the daughter of wealthy parents (that was interesting) and clearly bounced around various schools before becoming famous, but we never really learn how, or get any real insight into her career or her songs. We do get a vibe that's she a bit pretentious and she whines about how hard it is to be famous, so there's that. (I hate that in memoirs.)

Some of the anecdotes are interesting, though I was confused why two of them centered around New York City weather events, and she certainly offers some profound thoughts and good quotes. There's no argument that Phair can write; you know that just by listening to her songs, and HORROR enforces it. However, this starts off intriguing and then just drags as you realize nearly every chapter will be the same... somewhat self-centered, woe is me, and nearly always mentioning the need to be loved/failed relationships. Sometimes it was all a bit much.

For the most part, this proved she lived the kind of life Liz Phair would lead--emerging unscathed after trudging blocks in a blizzard, for instance, and just generally seeming "above" everything--yet she's also a mom, wife (sometimes), sister, and daughter, like the rest of us. But, it felt lacking (and often annoying) to me. 3 stars.

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'Cause there is so much wrong going on outside: NOT A HAPPY FAMILY.

Not a Happy Family by Shari Lapena
My rating: 3.75 of 5 stars

NOT A HAPPY FAMILY is the twelfth book in my author challenge. Fred and Shelia Merton live in a fancy house in a wealthy neighborhood. They have three children, Dan, Catherine, and Jenna, whom they have spent most of their life emotionally abusing and neglecting. As such, the kids hate them. After a disastrous Easter family dinner, Fred and Sheila are murdered. If they had to be honest, the kids are a bit relieved: they will now inherit millions and their hateful parents are gone. But their meddling aunt is convinced one of them murdered her brother and she's out to prove it.

"Something awful has happened here."

FAMILY is a compelling, quick read. Told from multiple POV across our many characters, it's snappy and intriguing. Despite my instant dislike of Fred and Sheila--and, honestly, their children too--I wanted to know what happened. The kids turn on each other nearly at once, as predicted by the family's housekeeper and former nanny. The book is packed with unlikable characters, but in this case, it's almost where the joy of the novel comes from. Which terrible person committed this heinous act? They are all almost competing for the award of "worst person."

Lapena tosses in some good twists and turns and family secrets to keep us surprised. There are certainly some dark secrets buried here. I was not a fan of the ending and felt like it left too many things unresolved, knocking my rating down to a 3.75. Still, this a quick and enjoyable thriller and worth a read.

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We're walkin' into the fields: BLUSH.

Blush by Jamie Brenner
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

BLUSH tells the story of three generations of women who discover that the trashy novels of the Jackie Collins/Judith Krantz era might hold the key to saving their family’s winery. Jamie Brenner’s BLUSH is the second book in my ABC author challenge [B].

This is a sweeping novel that gives a lot (!) of details about wine and vineyards. The Hollander family owns their Long Island winery—belonging to matriarch Vivian and her husband, Leonard. Leonard, who is quite firm in his ideas about gender roles, would not let their daughter Leah take over, so she runs a cheese shop in New York City. Leah’s daughter Sadie is struggling in college with her thesis.

When they all converge at the vineyard, they discover Leonard is thinking of selling. He refuses to accept any of Leah or Vivian’s ideas to help save it. But when Sadie finds Vivian’s trashy old novels from her book club days, the three women come together. It’s fun to hear about the old novels (you’ll enjoy this book if you like Krantz or Collins) and watch the women triumph over Leonard, who, honestly can be sort of awful. The themes of marriage, sexism, and family run strong and make this an interesting read, even if the characters sometimes frustrate you to no end. 3 stars.


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I will not leave this pulse alone: THE PUSH.

The Push by Ashley Audrain
My rating: 3.5 of 5 stars

I realized I need a book project to keep me reading the books on my shelves… so I’m turning to the ABCs again. This time, it’s authors. The only rule is the book can start with either the author’s first or last name, and I’m trying to prioritize BOTM books to meet my goal of reading twelve this year. Let’s see how I do!

My first choice was THE PUSH by Ashley Audrain (two As and a BOTM!). This was a mesmerizing psychological thriller about a woman, Blythe, who has always feared motherhood, based on her own childhood. After giving birth to Violet, she becomes convinced there’s something wrong with her. Violet doesn't act like other kids. Her husband Fox says it's all in her head. When their second child, Sam, is born, Blythe has a wonderful connection with him--motherhood is finally everything she's wanted. But then it all changes in a devastating moment, and Blythe must face the awful truth she's been fearing.

THE PUSH offers a very honest and brutal look at motherhood. It definitely kept me flipping the pages! It starts off with a bang, then dragged a bit for me in the middle. It's certainly serious and sad, and, at times, a mystery as well. THE PUSH will keep you thinking long after you've turned that last page. 3.5 stars.

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