I could see it from miles away: AT THE END OF EVERYTHING.

At the End of Everything by Marieke Nijkamp
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The Hope Juvenile Treatment Center is not a place of hope. It's where troubled teens are sent when few other options exist. Then one day the guards start acting strange--and then they don't return. When some of the teens leave the facility, they find a group of armed soldiers. They tell them there is a respiratory plague spreading throughout the country and no one is allowed to leave their homes. The group realizes this means they've been abandoned to try to survive a plague at Hope.

This was my 150th book of the year, and it was a terrifying plague thriller that hit way too close to home right now! Honestly, it was almost too hard to read about a respiratory plague at the moment, especially with COVID ramping up again!

I think this is my favorite Nijkamp book so far. It grew on me--I really started to care for the teens left behind at Hope, and this book really makes you think. Because, let's be honest--the Government abandoning a group of wayward teens to survive the plague doesn't sound too farfetched right now, does it? The book involves things like total lockdowns and ration cards and while it's billed as apocalyptic, it does not sound like a world too far from our own.

The representation in EVERYTHING is excellent, with a cast of queer and non-binary characters. You do not get to know the teens too well, but well enough to form attachments to several of them. As with any group in a dangerous situation, some move to the forefront and others blend in. The moral questions abound--both on a larger scale (why were they left there)--but also within the facility. How will they govern themselves? What do they do with their dead? What is the right and wrong way to obtain food and supplies? It really brings up some interesting ideas on morality and what these kids should be allowed to do after being abandoned.

Overall, this book was hard to read, but it brings up interesting and thoughtful questions. It takes you into the teen's world and offers a sad but hopeful story. 4 stars.

I received a copy of this book from Sourcebooks Fire and Netgalley in return for an unbiased review.

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I'll keep your secrets if you keep mine: BEFORE I LET GO.

Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


When Corey gets the call that her best friend, Kyra, has passed away--falling under the ice in their frigid hometown of Lost Creek, Alaska--she is devastated. Corey has been gone from Lost, as it's known, away at boarding school, corresponding with Kyra only via letters. She was due to visit in a few days and now her best friend is gone. Lost always shunned Kyra because she was bipolar and had maniac episodes. The small, insulated town couldn't understand Kyra's highs and lows. She stood out too much in a place where being different was wrong. But the seven months that Corey's been away has been long enough for the town of Lost to turn on her and now deem her an outsider. Since Corey's departure, Lost has suddenly embraced Kyra, though Corey isn't sure why. Even worse, they are calling Kyra's death meant to be, her time. They've rallied around in her death and they want nothing to do with Corey. Kyra always said she would wait for Corey to return: why didn't she?

I definitely have some mixed feelings about this one. It's billed as a YA mystery, and I can see its drama appealing more to teens, perhaps, but I could never really fully tell what the book was truly about or what it was trying to be. It has weird unexplained mystical elements thrown in--think Carol Goodman or Jennifer McMahon, but they aren't fully fleshed out or well-explained. I believe the intent is to slowly build up suspense and creep you out, but they don't slowly build up (they sort of start out full force and stay there, or almost trickle away... it's hard to explain) and they never really seem to have a purpose. So it's just one element of the book that leaves you hanging. The ending, too, leaves you with little closure.

The novel is told mainly from Corey's perspective, but we also get weird snippets told as if in a play format (like we're hearing from the town), but those aren't fully formed either. It's very strange. I liked Corey, but she comes in angry at her town and we don't get a lot of explanation into her character or real background into her friendship with Kyra, despite being assured that they were best friends up until Corey left.

It's sad, because I was really drawn to the character of Kyra (you get flashbacks to the girls' friendship and life before Kyra's death). I thought the book did a fairly good job of portraying mental illness and honestly Kyra--despite her death--seemed to be the most fully formed character in many ways. She implores Corey not to fix her, that she's not a puzzle to solve, and she discusses her manic spells in a very mature and very thoughtful way. It's one of the reasons that I'm keeping a three-star rating for this one; I'm hoping the portrayal of her illness can help and inform others.

There are also a variety of relationships portrayed in the novel--albeit, I thought, rather superficially--lesbian, pansexual, asexual, gay, etc. I wouldn't say any relationship is at all fully delved into, but I appreciate that Nijkamp at least wanted to try to be representative with her characters.

The other thing is that Nijkamp's books are just so darn easy to read. I remember that about This Is Where It Ends, too. I read almost this entire novel in one setting. Her writing draws you in so easily, even if you don't always agree with what you're reading, or if you wish for more character development. You could pick this up and fly through it in a day.

In the end, this certainly wasn't what I expected. The strange mystical elements seemed out of place and they, along with most of the characters, weren't really fleshed out. I was a fan of how easy the story was to read and the mental illness portrayal, though, as well as how easy the story was to read. I was drawn to the character of Kyra and wished I could have learned even more about her. The story was compelling and Nijkamp did an excellent job making you feel the cold of the Alaskan setting and the similar coldness of the townspeople. At the same time, while I could certainly see a small town being incredibly close-minded (and they were), some of the other plot points seemed a little overboard. A quick read, especially for teens. 3 stars.

You can read my review of THIS IS WHERE IT ENDS here.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher and Netgalley (thank you!) in return for an unbiased review; it is available everywhere as of 01/02/2018.

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I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet + Giveaway!

This Is Where It Ends by Marieke Nijkamp

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


On a chilly day, the principal of Opportunity High School is giving a speech to her students, kicking off the new semester. The majority of the school is gathered in the auditorium, listening to her speak. As she finishes, they prepare to head to their next class, but the doors are stuck. Then, suddenly, someone begins to shoot.

The book is told from the viewpoint of a handful of kids (four) from Opportunity High and basically unfolds in less than a hour -- the time it takes for a horrific tragedy to fall upon their school and community. We hear from Sylvia and her twin brother Tomas. We also get the perspective of Autumn, Sylvia's best friend, who is struggling with the death of her mother and her abusive father, all the while watching her brother, Tyler, an Opportunity High dropout, drift away from her. Finally, we see things from Claire's perspective; a member of the track team - Claire is outside practicing when the tragedy begins, but worried about her brother Matt, who is inside.

I read this book in a few hours - its short time span makes it terrifying and you want to speed through to find out what happens to these kids. It's an all too horrifying and realistic account of what can happen with school shootings (and beware, some of the descriptions can be very graphic). The interwoven stories of the kids do a good job of telling the story and portraying the strong bond of family and friendship that can exist -- especially at the hyper-sensitive stage of high school, where everything truly does seem like life or death sometimes.

There's an added LGBT angle to this story, which is a nice twist, as it's very natural to the book. The kids' tales, overall, seem true to their voices, but some of the writing is stilted and tough to read (not from the subject matter, but the way it's written). The author overuses the play on words with "opportunity" far too much - it would have been better to just let the story play itself out. We get the parallels - no need to spell them out (over and over and over) for us.

Still, this is a powerful book - it's heartbreakingly lovely, really, and will leave you hoping and praying that no more children *ever* have to go through this experience. It's a worthy read, even if it leaves you hurting, but I would make sure you talk about it in detail with your teens. It's a tough subject matter that needs to be discussed.

This is definitely a book worth reading - if you're interested in winning an advanced copy, please check out the publisher's tumblr page here at the Sourcebooks Fire Tumblr. 



(I received an ARC of this book from Netgalley in return for an unbiased review.)



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