And the days you defend will turn to gold: THIS IS HOW I LIED.

This Is How I Lied by Heather Gudenkauf

My rating: 4.5 of 5 stars


Eve Knox was only sixteen when she died in the caves by her house. She was murdered, her body found by her best friend Maggie and Eve's younger sister, Nola. While there were some suspects--her boyfriend, Nick; the local town drifter--no one was ever arrested and the case, led by Maggie's police chief father, went cold. Now Maggie herself is a detective in her hometown of Grotto, Iowa. She becomes lead on Eve's case when it is reopened after new evidence emerges. Immediately Maggie is transported back to her childhood and her friendship with Eve. But as Maggie digs deeper into the case, she realizes there were a lot of secrets buried with Eve, many of which no one in Grotto want discovered. Maybe not even Maggie herself.


"Over the years, I lost my mom, my innocence and my best friend. This street has been a graveyard to me."


This book was one of those delicious surprises that turns out to be so much better than you expect. I've never read a book by Heather Gudenkauf before, but I certainly will be reading more of her books now! I read this as I was sent a Netgalley widget, and I'm so glad! This is such a dark and twisty tale, and I loved how it kept me guessing the entire time, always wondering and doubting myself about what exactly happened to Eve.

Gudenkauf tells her tale from multiple perspectives and time periods, but unlike so many thrillers these days, she does so deftly. It's heartbreaking to hear from the Eve of twenty-five years ago, knowing her fate, yet fascinating, as she slowly dispenses details and clues about what has happened to her. Eve's younger sister is the "town crazy," a veterinarian with a penchant for extreme creepiness. We also have Maggie's even-keeled husband, Shaun, who runs their orchard (and did I mention Maggie is way pregnant?), her father, the ex-chief, who is suffering from dementia, and her brother, who has been forced to care for him. And lets not forget Eve's ex-boyfriend, Nick, who now runs a store in town.

The small-town dynamics are perfect here. Eve's murder is the biggest thing to happen to this town. Everyone knows everyone else, and they think they all know each other's secrets. But, goodness, the secrets and lies buried deep in this small town are just beginning as Maggie starts investigating Eve's death again. The story unfolds perfectly--new pieces coming at you in just the right amount, constantly changing the perspective and allowing suspects to switch around in your mind. Half the thrillers I read, I feel like I have the "whodunnit" figured out from the beginning, but I was never sure here, always frantically reading, always wondering, and being pulled deeply into Eve and Maggie's lives.

Overall, I really enjoyed this one. I loved the surprise of it--finding a book I didn't expect to be so good--and I loved being drawn into such a taunt well-written thriller. 4.5 stars.

I received a copy of this book from Harlequin/Park Row and Netgalley in return for an unbiased review. It is available as of 5/12/2020.


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Brutal fantasies I catch as catch can: CATHERINE HOUSE.

Catherine House by Elisabeth Thomas

My rating: 2.5 of 5 stars


Ines comes to Catherine House to leave her past behind. It's a dark past, with secrets and memories she'd rather forget. And that's good, because Catherine House is an institution that requires its students to give it three total years of their lives--leaving behind their families, television, music, and more. In return, they get a completely free education and the promise of a liberal arts background that has formed the minds of some very famous people: authors, inventors, presidents, and more. Ines comes to Catherine House with few expectations and for the most part, fits in, forming a strange friendship with her uptight and studious roommate, Baby, and the other students in her freshman year. But when tragedy befalls Baby, Ines begins to wonder about the House and its strange rituals, many of them tied to its most famous concentration of study, plasma.


"That was the Catherine experience: give the house three years--three profound, total years--then become anything or anyone you want to be. Watch all your dreams come true."


This book totally stressed me out. I usually love a good boarding school novel (though technically these students are in their college years), but this was mostly just a bunch of kids drinking and occasionally attending weird classes. Why are there never normal people at these schools who just do their work and don't drink?

Anyway, besides that pet peeve, this book was incredibly slow and nothing ever happened. This was mostly a story about a lot of frivolous kids at school with some weird scientific plasma stuff thrown in. It was incredibly difficult to care about Ines for most of the book--or any of the other characters--and truly, most of the plot. I thought about abandoning the book, but wanted to see if anything interesting ever happened with the scientific aspect. (No, not really.) The book sells itself as a mysterious ride, but it's more a character-driven novel. About lackluster, annoying characters.

Now the last third was fairly enjoyable and somehow an irritating book with eh characters had a satisfying ending, but getting there was just painful. Thomas is a good writer and this is no doubt one of those smart books where not much happens that book critics will worship, but it didn't really work for me. 2.5 stars.

Thank you to LibraryThing and Custom House for my copy. This book is on sale 5/12/2020.

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I've had her picture in my head all day: DARLING ROSE GOLD.

Darling Rose Gold by Stephanie Wrobel

My rating: 3.75 of 5 stars


Rose Gold Watts was sick for the first eighteen years of her life. In and out of the hospital, she used a wheelchair and stopped attending school at a young age. Her entire world revolved around her mother, Patty, who was her caretaker and only advocate. Neither Patty nor the doctors could figure out exactly what was wrong with poor Rose Gold. But suddenly, things change, and it's revealed that Patty has been making Rose Gold sick. Patty is put on trial and sentenced to five years in prison. Rose Gold has a chance to start her life over anew, without the (literal) poisoning influence of her mother. But when Patty is released, she has nowhere to go. She pleads with Rose Gold to take her back, and everyone is shocked when she says yes. Patty promises she wants to make amends, but Rose Gold isn't so sure. And the more time Patty spends with Rose Gold, she isn't so sure her daughter is the malleable little thing she once was...


Riddle me this: if I spent almost two decades abusing my daughter, why did she offer to pick me up today?


I'm going to keep my review short to avoid spoilers. This is an extremely readable and engrossing book. It's dark and twisted, and yeah, wow! I'd heard it was shocking and it certainly has its moments. I thought I saw where it was going, and I definitely got some of it right, but not all of it. It some ways, it was a fun little journey; in other ways, a bit terrifying. The perspectives alternate between Rose Gold and Patty, with some looks into the past as well. It's very effective, and one of my favorite parts was that your loyalties shifted between the two. Did Patty hurt Rose Gold? Is Rose Gold as despicable as her mother? Is there anyone we should be rooting for here? The book leaves you with a lot to think about.

I'm glad I read this one. It might not be a light and happy read, per se, but it's a compelling and twisted one. 3.75 stars, rounded to 4 here.

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Know you're always in my heart and on my mind: FOUR DAYS OF YOU AND ME

Four Days of You and Me by Miranda Kenneally

My rating: 2.5 of 5 stars


Every spring the students of Coffee County High School get to take a class trip. The locations get better as they get older. And every year, Lulu's relationship with Alex Rouvelis gets a little more convoluted and intense. As freshmen, they were enemies after an intense race over a student council position. But they couldn't deny their chemistry either. The two date, breakup, and much more across the span of four years, but each year, the class trip seems to bring them together again. And Lulu and Alex must decide if their love is worth fighting for.


"Our first kiss was exactly four years ago today, and since then, nothing--and everything--has changed."


I hate writing less-than-positive reviews, especially for authors I typically enjoy, but this book was not a favorite of mine. It's told across Lulu and Alex's four class trips (one per year) with flashbacks to other times. I simply could not warm up to Lulu or Alex. Honestly, of the two, I probably liked him better, but we don't hear his side. It took nearly half the book for the story to engage me even a little bit, and I thought about giving up, but for some reason, I have a tough time just stopping a book.

Now, I read YA a ton, so it's not that I don't enjoy YA novels. I read one right after this and *loved* it. But I found this story way too simplistic, and I feel like teens would too. There is so much better YA out there--for all of us. The book just felt simplistic in its writing and the "will they / won't they" storyline was boring. I did not care if they did or not. Honestly, there was a side plot about Lulu's gay best friend Max that was much more interesting--I would have rather read about him!

Supposedly Lulu is an artist/writer and that's her thing, but that felt forced. Mostly, the book felt about a girl (and her friends) all trying to find boys to like (and like them back). That's what they cared about and talked about. I felt no huge connection between Alex and Lulu and hence no reason to root for them to choose each other. They didn't feel destined for one other, as most couples do in a good romance. The story does pick up a bit near the end, but by then, I just felt burned out.

So maybe this story would resonate a bit more with a teen set (and it should be an older teen set, due to language and themes), but there are a lot of other better books out there. Now, others seem to enjoy this more than me, so maybe I just got caught in a bad mood. 2.5 stars for me, though.

I received a copy of this book from Netgalley and Sourcebooks Fire in return for an unbiased review.

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Let us take on the world while we're young and able: BIG SUMMER.

Big Summer by Jennifer Weiner

My rating: 4+ of 5 stars


Daphne Berg idolized Drue Cavanaugh when they went to school together. Drue seemed to have the perfect life--beautiful, rich, and adored by all. But eventually Daphne tired of Drue's mistreatment, with one incident finally pushing the two apart for good. So she's quite surprised when Drue appears back in her life, asking Daphne to be maid-of-honor in her upcoming wedding. Daphne is now an Instagram influencer, with a growing following in plus-size fashion. And, truly, she could never say no to Drue, especially when she visualizes the wedding as a prospect for more followers and the potential to meet a cute guy. So off to Cape Cod she goes--ignoring the warning of her best friend and roommate, who knows the pain Drue can cause. The night before the wedding, Daphne does meet a handsome and charming guy. And she overhears rumors that all might not be right in Drue's world. In the morning, she awakes to something terrible, causing her to dig deeper into those rumors and her own relationship with Drue.


"The trick of the Internet, I had learned, was not being unapologetically yourself or completely unfiltered; it was mastering the trick of appearing that way. It was spiking your posts with just the right amount of real... which meant, of course, that you were never being real at all."


Well this was an unexpected yet enjoyable read. It's far less serious than Weiner's previous book, the expansive and beautiful Mrs. Everything, but I think it's exactly the read we need for these times. I finished feeling happy and grateful for what I had in my life. Big Summer was a wonderful distraction from real life.

This is a fun story featuring our engaging plus-size heroine, Daphne, who is still struggling to find herself as an adult. Many of her scars and insecurities come from her so-called friendship with Drue, who was more of a user than a friend. After Drue hurt Daphne one time too many, she hasn't seen her in six years. But she's still powerless to say no to her, especially when she's begging for her to attend her high society wedding.


"You are susceptible to Drue Cavanaugh. She's your Kryptonite."


I found Daphne to be sweet albeit in need of a backbone at times. Her journey to self-actualization is certainly engaging. Big Summer takes a huge turn about halfway through, giving me a big surprise, but I loved it, honestly. I'm glad I hadn't read about the twist--a lot of reviews give it away, but I won't. Let's just say that Drue and her minions can be quite twisted at times, and there's a lot to unravel and unwrap here in terms of motivations and backstory. Big Summer starts with a little snippet set in the early 1990s, setting us up for the story ahead. We also learn about Daphne and Drue's past and all about their friendship.

This is such a sweet, sometimes silly (oh how I love Daphne's parents), and real read. Goodness, the pieces about Daphne's weight can be so heartbreaking. There's a section where she remembers her grandmother caring for her for a summer and basically giving her her weight insecurities, as she put Daphne on her first diet, making her aware of being heavier. Oh man. Weiner is an excellent writer, and she brings Daphne to life here, making her such a true person, whom we want to root for, hug, and love.

And she gives us a book about family, love, and reminds us to be grateful for what we have. The grass isn't always greener on the other side, per se. Always important, but even so more right now. I loved this one, with its escapist nature and twisty yet heartfelt storyline. 4+ stars.

I received a copy of this book from Atria Books and Netgalley in return for a honest review. It releases 5/5/2020.

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In the maelstrom of your mind you are swirled: THE SPLIT.

The Split by Sharon J. Bolton

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Felicity Lloyd works on the remote island of South Georgia in Antarctica studying glaciers. While that's her profession, her location is not an accident. She's gone as far away from her home in Cambridge as possible to escape her ex-husband, Freddie, whom she knows is methodically hunting her down. Meanwhile, back in Cambridge, there are people--including a doctor--whom are looking into Felicity and Freddie's twisted relationship. And it may bring all of them into a shocking confrontation in South Georgia.


"The ends of the Earth. That's how far she ran this time. Not far enough."


I'm pretty sure this book had me reading with my brow actually furrowed for about the first two thirds. I was perplexed and confused, trying to work out Felicity's character--her intentions, motivations, and what on earth she was doing. I won't reveal much, as it's best to go into this one spoiler-free, but there's a lot going on with her and, as such, this is a very compelling and fascinating tale.

The book crosses time periods and perspectives, as we hear from folks in South Georgia, Cambridge, and elsewhere. I guessed one big piece before one of the characters--whether this was intentional or not, I'm not sure. (I felt superior to the doctor, but who knows, ha.) I can tell you that I read this book in three frantic chunks, desperately wanting to know the deal with Felicity and Freddie. It's a little crazy, a little out-there, and a bit extreme, but it certainly keeps you flipping the pages, I will grant Bolton that. I'm not sure if it's a book you really enjoy, per se, but it's one you consume (or does it consume you?), sucking in the story and the wild characters until there is nothing left. 4 stars.

A big thanks to St. Martin's Press/Minotaur Books and Netgalley for my copy in return for an unbiased review, as I really love Sharon Bolton and her writing! This book releases in the U.S. on 4/28/2020.

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But you pretend and I pretend that everything is fine: LITTLE SECRETS.

Little Secrets by Jennifer Hillier

My rating: 3.75 of 5 stars


Marin Marchado's whole world changed when she was distracted for a moment at a Seattle market and lost track of her four-year-old son Sebastian. He vanished, without a trace, and there was nothing the police could do to find him. Even the considerable resources of Marin and her husband Derek amounted to nothing. Now a year later, Marin is a haunted woman. The only solace is her support group of other parents who have experienced the same thing, her best friend Sal, and the knowledge that the P.I. she hired is still looking for Sebastian. But then the P.I. turns up something else entirely. Derek is having an affair with a young graduate student named Kenzie. The knowledge of Kenzie's existence finally gives Marin purpose again and a place to channel her anger. Kenzie is a face, an opponent she can see. While Kenzie sees Derek as a rich, married boyfriend, albeit the first she's actually fallen for, Marin sees Kenzie as someone she can remove from her life, a problem she can finally solve. As Marin and Kenzie find themselves on a collision course, each are going to learn some startling truths about themselves--and their pasts.


"Four minutes. That's all it took to steal a child. A lollipop, a Santa suit, and two hundred forty seconds."


Don't get me wrong. This is a really good book. It takes any parent's worst fear and turns it into a raw, dark page-turner. I think what made me a little sad about this thriller is that is was so hyped, so loved that I felt a little let down when I read it. Was it good? Yes, it was. Jennifer Hillier is an amazing writer, and I will always love her books. But did it blow me away like I was hoping? No. And I was a bit disappointed by that. Maybe I'm just becoming jaded in my old age.

Again, this not me saying not to read this book. It's good. It's emotional and sad, twisty and deep. But I also found a lot of it far more predictable than I thought I would. I had an inkling who had taken Sebastian from the beginning and while I still wanted to read the story, I felt a little let down by that. I guessed several of the other big "aha" moments too. Sigh. Maybe I've just read too many thrillers.

Still, this is quite a page-turner, and I read it over the span of two days. You're pulled quickly into Marin's horrible world, where she's completely broken by the aftermath of losing--literally losing--Sebastian. She feels hopeless and when she realizes Derek has cheated on her, it gives her a purpose, even if it is a misguided one. Kenzie works well as an enemy--appearing young and vapid. Derek comes across as a heartless man ignoring his depressed wife. As things build up, you know that an inevitable confrontation will not go well. I just wish I hadn't guessed how said confrontation would go.

However, just about everyone on the planet loved this book unconditionally, so you can't go wrong picking it up. 3.75 stars from me.

A huge thanks to St. Martin's Press/Minotaur Books and Netgalley for giving me a copy of this book in return for an unbiased review.

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Dreams are mostly lost and found on other streets and other towns: LONG BRIGHT RIVER

Long Bright River by Liz Moore

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


This was the first book I ever checked out from Libby. I miss my library right now, but I'm glad for that app, even if I can only put six books on hold at one time. (What is that?! Six holds; that's for amateurs.)

Kensington, a neighborhood in Philadelphia, is plagued by drug use, especially heroin. It's where sisters Kacey and Mickey grew up. The girls lost their mother at a young age and were raised by their grandmother, Gee, who provided shelter and not much else. Now, Mickey is determined to raise her son Thomas differently. With love and kindness and a feeling of safety. Mickey is a police officer, so she's more than familiar with the streets of Kensington. At the same time, Kensington is struck with a series of murders, Kacey disappears. Mickey and Kacey haven't had much contact in years, since her sister became stuck in the tangle of addiction, but she's still worried. Even more so since those being murdered are young women, no doubt drug and sex workers. Found strangled on the streets. As Mickey starts looking into the murders, she gets caught up in a twisted web of lies and deceit--some of it related to her missing sister--and soon it may be too late to save either Mickey or Kacey.


The first time I found my sister dead, she was sixteen. It was the summer of 2002. Forty-eight hours earlier, on a Friday afternoon, she’d left school with her friends, telling me she’d be back by evening. She wasn’t.


This isn't a fun book to read, so if you're looking for a feel-good read right now, this isn't it. But it's a well-written, extremely powerful look at addiction. While it focuses on the story of the murdered girls, it's also an in-depth character study, taking us into Mickey's history with her sister and how their past has formed their present. Told in a then and now format, we learn about the sisters, and we get a harrowing and detailed look at the effect of addiction, not just on Kacey, but on an entire town. It's depressing, it's real, and it's wonderfully done.


Kacey told me that time spent in addiction feels looped. Each morning brings with it the possibility of change, each evening the shame of failure.


This is not really a fast-moving book, but it does have twists and turns, many of them surprising. There's plenty to keep you guessing, as we try to figure out what is happening to the women on the streets in Kensington. In turn, we have to figure out Kacey and Mickey's past and how it's brought us to where we are today. Characters are sparse, but incredibly well-created, with my favorite, beyond the sisters, being Mickey's landlord, Mrs. Mahon, a formidable woman in her own right. And Mickey's sweet, wise young son Thomas.

While Kacey is clearly the damaged one on paper, as an addict, often living on the streets, we see Mickey isn't always much better. She's had a tough time, and it's hard for her to trust anyone. Both she and Kacey are astounding characters, who stand out in this powerful novel about addiction, police abuse, and the love of a mother. This isn't always an easy read, but I'm glad I picked it up. It will stick with me for some time.

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Must bar the windows and the doors: STRIKE ME DOWN.

Strike Me Down by Mindy Mejia

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


Nora Trier is a forensic accountant. She prides herself on her lack of bias and her ability to stay completely independent in her cases. As such, she's able to catch a lot of criminals. That all changes when Strike, a large athletic and kickboxing company hires Nora's firm. They are headed by Logan Russo, a bold famous athlete and hero to the world, and her husband, Greg Abbott, who runs the marketing side of the company. Strike is ready to launch their biggest event yet--a kickboxing tournament, Strike Down, with fighters all over the world competing for twenty million dollars in prize money. But there's a small problem: the money is missing. Greg suspects his wife has taken it, sabotaging her own company. Nora's firm places her in charge of finding the missing funds--just days before Strike Down--and are unaware of own her ties to Strike. As the clock ticks down, Nora begins to unravel a web of secrets that threatens her independence--and her life.


"Numbers, like people, have no inherent quality. Their value lies only in their relation to others and what they represent. Good. Bad. Strong. Weak. These are descriptions given by the counter. The counter weaves a story into the number, a narrative combining quantity and quality, fact and fiction. Numbers by themselves are invisible, much like the counters."


This was certainly an intriguing book with an interesting premise. Nora and her firm are given only a few days to find the money missing from Strike's coffers. Strike is run and controlled solely by Logan and Greg, without outside influence from shareholders. As such, they are self-made. But that's also made them vulnerable to such a theft. I honestly would have liked to see more of the forensic accounting pieces--I'm a big dork. For instance, Nora's company has a computer named Inga who searches emails for clues and patterns. I would have been fine seeing and learning more about Inga at work.


"Five days. Twenty million dollars. The pressure was indisputably on."


The book, however, was focused more on personalities, with much of the story told via Nora and Greg's eyes. This would have been fine, but I never really felt much of a connection with either of these characters. Or Logan Russo, either, despite her portrayal as a dynamic, forceful heroine who has impacted a generation of kickboxers and athletes. Nora makes a series of bad decisions and seems oddly obsessed with Logan for no real reason--a weird focus that is never really explained. She has a past that has led her to her role in forensic accounting, but it never really leads to much in the end. Greg is a focused businessman on the outs with his wife, and I never felt much sympathy with him. And Logan, as mentioned, who is supposed to be the core of this book, just falls flat until nearly the end of the novel.


"For forty years she'd been invisible, a quality she'd not only taken for granted, but turned into her greatest asset. She was the unseen eye, the counter nobody counted, who wove numbers into dark and avaricious stories."


Overall, the book is just weird. I feel bad putting that in a review without much further explanation, but I don't want to put spoilers. It's strange. Yes, it's compelling, in some ways, but I never felt like I needed to get back to reading it. I was interested about what happened to the money, but also had a good inkling early on about what really went down (and was proved right). Maybe if you connect more with the characters, this will be a true page-turner. It's still a tense read and different, for sure. I did enjoy the ending, and I actually felt something for the characters there. Therefore, this one squeaks by at 3 stars.

I received a copy of this book from Netgalley and Atria/Emily Bestler Books.

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Someday my life will be my own: THE NEW HUSBAND.

The New Husband by D.J. Palmer

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


Nina Garrity's life turned upside down after her husband, Glen, went missing. His boat turned up without him--bloody, with only their dog, Daisy, on it. Then she discovered he was having an affair and that he'd lost his job years ago, leaving them nearly broke. You couldn't blame Nina if she was hesitant to love or trust again. But when she meets Simon, a teacher at her daughter's school, she can't help but fall in love. He's kind, caring, and thoughtful. Everything she needs. Her son, Connor, loves him, but her daughter Maggie is wary. Still, Nina and her kids move in with Simon and she wants to move on. But before she can commit fully, she needs to make sure she isn't making a mistake again, as she did with Glen. As Nina ensures this, she may unravel some secrets she can never bury.

I will give it to this novel--it's a page-turner. I might not have really liked any of the characters (Daisy the dog exempted), but I certainly flew through the book. The narrative style wasn't exactly my favorite; it just felt off to me.


"There was, however, one truth Nina took from the terrible ordeal, an abstract notion that with time and rumination calcified into a harsh new understanding: just because you love someone doesn't mean you know them."



There is no one in this book that I felt the desire to root for, beyond Daisy and poor Maggie, Nina's thirteen-year-old daughter, who is bullied and neglected thanks to all that's going on. I'm sorry, but her clueless mom makes some terrible decisions. I wanted to shake her multiple times.

This book is crazy and honestly, a little too far-fetched for me at times. I love a book filled with twists and turns, but this one might take the cake. Especially since some of them seemed to lack any motivation or backup.

Still, it's a page-turner and a fast read. If you can suspend your disbelief more than I did, you'll probably really enjoy it.

Thank you to St. Martin's Press for my copy!

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Be of good heart evermore: JOSH AND HAZEL'S GUIDE TO NOT DATING.

Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating by Christina Lauren

My rating: 4+ of 5 stars


Hazel Bradford is a force of nature. She's a third grade teacher without a filter, and she comes with a variety of pets (including a parrot). As such, Hazel realizes most men she dates aren't usually prepared for, well, Hazel. Hazel has known Josh Im since college. The first time they met, she threw up on his shoes. Then she sent him an embarrassing email post-surgery. Josh is a steady, calm guy--not exactly up for Hazel's antics. But when they randomly meet ten years after college, he finds Hazel surprisingly refreshing. The two don't date of course--they aren't compatible, right? Instead, they set each other up on a series of insane double blind dates. Nothing could go wrong with that plan...


"Being near Hazel is like being in a room with a mini-cyclone."


I've read a variety of Christina Lauren novels by now, and this was one of my favorites. For a short minute, I thought Hazel was going to be too zany and over the top for me, and then I got to know her. I then fell in love with her, and I was immediately rooting for our caring, funny, and yes, sometimes, crazy heroine. The best part was that Josh was great in his own reliable, sweet way, too. There's nothing better than a romance where you care for both partners. They were an excellent couple, and I wanted nothing more than to see Josh and Hazel get together. The two had wonderful chemistry and the whole book just had me grinning goofily.

Josh and Hazel are both damaged and wary, but not in that annoying way that has you rolling your eyes and wishing they'd just get over it all. Josh's girlfriend has hurt him and Hazel is constantly passed over by guys who think she's too over the top. Neither deserve this pain, and you quickly want them to get together and be healed. Of course it isn't that easy. When they come up with the double date angle (but not dating each other), laughter ensues, as well as some heartbreak.

There aren't too many side characters in this one: the focus is on Hazel and Josh, but I really enjoyed Hazel's mom, as well as Josh's sister, Emily. And there's plenty of fun to be had with some of the folks we encounter on the blind dates. Josh and Hazel seem so real; our writing duo capture them quite well. Hazel's zest for life coupled with her vulnerability, for instance, shine brightly. And Josh, well, I just wanted to hug him sometimes.

In the end this a really fun, sweet book. It's humorous yet realistic and tender. I adored Hazel and Josh-they were one of my favorite couples in a while. 4+ stars.

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Take me back to the night I could feel: THE SECRETS THEY LEFT BEHIND.

The Secrets They Left Behind by Lissa Marie Redmond

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Shea O'Connor is twenty-three, working as a patrol officer in the City of Buffalo Police Department. She's gone undercover successfully before for the FBI and that's why she's called on again when three girls go missing in the small town of Kelly's Falls, New York. Three college freshmen have disappeared, leaving behind their phones and purses. As weeks turn into months without a lead, something needs to change. So the youthful-looking Shea is planted undercover as a transfer student at Harris Community College, arriving in town as the "niece" of the local police chief. But Shea quickly realizes Kelly's Falls is full of secrets and whomever is responsible for the girls' disappearance will do anything to keep those secrets hidden.


"Three young girls, all college freshman, just disappeared. No clues. No traces. They just went to one girl's house after a party and vanished."


At first I was disappointed this was not one of Redmond's excellent Cold Case novels featuring detective Lauren Riley, whom I love, but that disappointment was short lived. I quickly took to Shea O'Connor, a young but feisty and enjoyable officer who will stop at nothing to solve her case. We realize that Shea clearly had a close call with a serial killer the last time she was undercover and she's still recovering from those wounds. Our girl is hurting, but she's also focused--Shea will do anything to find those girls.

Shea is in a tough spot. She's a young, female officer in a male-dominated profession, and she's often mistaken for a teen. However, her youthful appearance pays off undercover. But is the FBI using her? There's more than a simple mystery to solve here, as we must unravel if Shea can trust those around her.

The central mystery itself, of the girls' disappearance, is engaging and fascinating. I had a fairly good inkling early on who might be involved, but it didn't stop my interest, and I flew through the book. There are, of course, plenty of dirty secrets in Kelly's Falls--as in most small towns--and Shea digs up plenty of them. There's also an interesting angle where she becomes close with one of the missing girl's brother. Shea excels at immersing herself in her undercover role, and it was fun to see her play the young, naive college student (with a knife hidden in her back pocket).

The writing is a little simplistic at times, but overall this is a compelling thriller with an engaging protagonist. 3.5 stars, rounded up to 4 here. I'd love to see another book featuring Shea.

I received a copy of this novel from Netgalley and Crooked Lane Books in return for an unbiased review.

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Gonna take me through the darkest night: AMERICAN DIRT.

American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


So I put this book on hold at the library before it exploded into controversy and then it was the last book I was allowed to check out before our library closed down due to the pandemic. I can't tell if it was a great book to read in a pandemic (people with lives even worse on a daily basis) or if it just made my anxiety even worse! At this point, I'm just going to give a short review and try not to dip into the whole uproar over the book, but I do encourage you to read up on it and to read some #ownvoices authors, as well.

Lydia Perez lives in Acapulco with her husband, a journalist, and their eight-year-old son, Luca. She runs a bookstore, and one day someone comes in and buys several books that Lydia stocks solely because they are her favorites, not because she expects them to sell. They strike up a friendship and Javier returns frequently to her bookstore. It's only later that Lydia realizes that he is the leader of the newest, powerful drug cartel in town--the one that is ruining Acapulco. And the same jefe about whom her husband is writing an explosive journalistic profile. Once it's published, Lydia and Luca must flee Acapulco, becoming migrants overnight. They are heading to the United States, the one place Javier can't hurt them. But can they survive the dangerous journey?

This is an eye-opening and sad book. It's certainly heart-rendering and gives you such empathy for what Lydia and Luca must go through. For me, it was Luca who made this book. He is an endearing and indomitable character, and I loved him dearly. Cummins is a strong writer, and her characters certainly do come to life. I did find the story a little slow; it took it a while to really get going. It was also incredibly stressful--no surprise there--so I was on edge the entire time I was reading. However, I found myself rooting for Lydia and Luca as if they were true, actual people and for that, I applaud Cummins, no matter her motivations for writing this book. There's also so much about this story that broke my heart and it made me even further aware of so many deplorable things. The world is a terrible and scary place.

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So how did you decide to give me so much love: THE FAMILIAR DARK.

The Familiar Dark by Amy Engel

My rating: 4.5 of 5 stars


Eve Taggert grew up poor in Barren Springs, Missouri. Her mother was a meth user and dealer, a hardened woman who had little love for Eve or Eve's brother, Cal. When Eve became pregnant with her own daughter, Junie, she resolved their life would be different. While they might not have gotten out of Barren Springs--and they are still poor--Eve loves Junie fiercely. So when Cal, now a policeman, comes into the diner where Eve works with the worst of news: Junie is dead, found murdered with her best friend, Ivy Logan, Eve's world is shattered. And she resolves that she will stop at nothing to seek justice for her daughter.


"They died during a freak April snowstorm, blood pooling on a patchy bed of white. Afterward, some people said the killer must have had one eye on the gathering gray clouds. Taken the weather as a cue to strike and picked the moment when everyone else was huddled indoors, shivering in their optimistic shirtsleeves and muttering about global warming."


This book was powerful and utterly absorbing. I couldn't wait to get my hands on it after reading Amy Engel's previous novel, The Roanoke Girls, which is one of my favorite of books. It's one that I recommend to everyone. The Familiar Dark has much of the grittiness of The Roanoke Girls and, man, Engel is an amazing writer who excels at creating these worlds that just suck you in and, in some ways, spit you right back out.


"It had happened now, finally. The disaster I'd been anticipating from the second Junie was born. And I had never even seen it coming."


The title of the book simply doesn't cover it. This is a dark story. Engel captures the small town of Barren Springs perfectly. Our story is told completely from Eve's perspective, which I loved, and things unwind and unfurl as she figures things out. As mentioned, this is a dark tale, as Junie and Izzy's deaths are terrible. Eve's grief just pours off the pages. She is quickly pulled back to the horrors of her childhood and all that she endured. We see immediately that she's going to seek vengenance for what happened to Junie--no matter what. In any fashion, in any way.

I felt as if I almost became one with Eve as I read this book. She is riveting. As a mom, this book broke my heart, and the novel was a testament to a mother's love. It's oddly tender despite its horrifying and sad moments, and I defy you not to love Eve, despite her flaws. The book shows how her childhood formed her, and her brother Cal, whom is really the only person Eve has left after Junie's death.

I could rave on and on, but I don't want to risk spoiling anything. This book isn't for the faint of heart and it's not exactly an uplifting read, but as mentioned, it still resonates as a read about the power of family and love, despite its tense, uncomfortable moments. I am wowed by Engel's writing and can't wait to see what she comes up with next.

I received a copy of this book from Netgalley and Dutton in return for an unbiased review.

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I remember the time when I came so close to you: MUSIC FROM ANOTHER WORLD.

This completely amazing book tells the story of two teen pen pals in 1977, one of whom, Tammy, is a closeted lesbian. Tammy and Sharon, who lives in San Francisco, are matched through the California Pen Pal Project. Each attend strict religious schools, where the idea of being lesbian is an utter and complete sin. The story is told entirely through their letters, Sharon's diary entries, and Tammy's diary, which takes the form of letters to gay rights activist Harvey Milk. The two have their religious teachings to guide them, but Sharon is dealing with learning that her brother, Peter, is gay, and Tammy, of course, is working out her feelings about her sexuality. Through their letters, the two find a friendship and honesty they have no where else, especially as the anti-gay movement in America becomes stronger and stronger.

This story is powerful and beautiful. I can’t think of a better book for these difficult days. I completely fell in love with Tammy and Sharon and their complicated, real lives. It took me a moment to adjust to the format of the book, which, as mentioned is told entirely in epistolary form. Once I did, I was off and running and never looked back.

"I've never fit. Not at school. Not at church. Not anywhere, really." ~Sharon

This is historical YA fiction at its absolute best--Talley's story is heartbreaking and touching. Reading about Tammy and Sharon, you realize that we've come a long way in terms of gay rights, yet it hurts knowing so many kids still feel as lost and scared as Tammy when coming out. The book has a terrifying relevance in these divided times. (For instance, Tammy's religious zealot aunt and her powerful anti-gay church--plop them in 2020 and we're off and running.)

"I'm getting out of this place, Harvey. Even if I only manage to do it in my head." ~Tammy

Watching Tammy and Sharon's friendship form over their letters is amazing; somehow Talley conveys so much through that format. These two come to life before our very eyes, and we become completely invested in these two vulnerable yet utterly strong and amazing young women. Their story is hopeful and heartbreaking and touches on religion and gay rights in such powerful ways. I found it to be timely, complex, and incredibly wonderful. We need more books like this in the world, and Tammy and Sharon will stay with me for quite some time.

I received a copy of this book from Netgalley and Inkyard Press in return for an unbiased review. This amazing book is available 3/31!

It's the world in front of me: SUCH A FUN AGE.

Such a Fun Age by Kiley Reid

My rating: 4.5 of 5 stars


Emira Tucker is a somewhat aimless twenty-five-year-old. While all her other friends have steady jobs, she's still on her parents' health insurance. Her main gig is working as a babysitter for Alix Chamberlain and her two young daughters. When Alix asks Emira to take two-year-old Briar to the grocery store one night, a security guard confronts Emira, accusing the black woman of kidnapping the young toddler. A group of shoppers gathers, someone films the incident, and Emira is angry and embarrassed. Alix feels like she has to make the incident right. Through the video, someone from Alix's past turns up, propelling Alix and Emira on a crazy collision course that will make them question each other and everything they know.

This was a fascinating book that was completely easy-to-read. Reid is a great writer, and I flew through this novel. It's a little difficult to review, but it's an incredibly thought-provoking book that focuses on so much: relationships, racial dynamics, social class, parenting, and more.

Reid's characters come to life before your eyes. I fell quickly for Emira, who seems to be floundering in her life. Everyone claims to know what is best for Emira, but once we get to know her, I found her to be an interesting character, who actually knows much more than anyone gives her credit for. Her love for Briar comes across loud and clear, too. Reid also does such a good job capturing Briar, an unique kid, and it's easy to see why Emira loves her so much.

This book is deep, even if the story flies by quickly. There's so much to unpack, especially with Alix, who thinks she so progressive, yet, well, isn't. Her obsession with Emira is completely baffling and once the second character comes in, post grocery store incident, we are constantly thrown back between Alix and them. Who do we trust? Why are these two vying for Emira? What I loved about this novel is that usually, one character ultimately proves to be good and another evil. That may not necessarily be the case here. As mentioned, there's so much nuance in Reid's writing.

I flew through this book, and I found myself completely caught up in Emira, Alix, and even Briar's world. I may not have entirely grasped everything I should have, but I found it moving, timely, and beautifully written. Honestly, I would have loved to see more of Emira's life (and Briar's). This is a different sort of novel, but I found it worth a read. Reid is a wonderful writer, and I'm excited to see what she comes up with next. 4.5 stars.

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This could be the year for the real thing: THE HONEY DON'T LIST.

The Honey-Don't List by Christina Lauren

My rating: 3.75 of 5 stars


Carey Douglas is looking forward to a much-needed vacation. She's spent nearly ten years serving as an assistant--and much more--to Melissa Tripp, one half of Melissa and Rusty Tripp. The Tripps are co-owners of the store Comb+Honey and best known for their home renovation TV shows and books. They have a new solo show, Home Sweet Home, about to launch on Netflix, accompanied by a book about their happy marriage. The only issue: Melissa and Rusty can't stand each other. So instead of giving their assistants--Carey and Rusty's assistant/engineer, James--a break while they go on book tour, the couple's behavior requires they be babysat so their mutual self-hatred does not go viral. Suddenly Carey and James find themselves stuck together on a tour bus, watching over two very irritable and often hateful people. James needs the engineering contacts and a job where everything is on the up-and-up--something his last couldn't offer. Carey requires health insurance and believes Melissa needs her more than anyone else. And who knows, the more time James and Carey spend together, the more they might wind up finding some good in all this mess.


"You wouldn't know from scrolling through their idyllic Instagram feed that Melly and Rusty aren't quite as sweet on each other anymore. Looking back, I'm not really sure when they decided their marriage mattered less than their brand."


This was a fun and engaging Christina Lauren read. I'd rank Carey and James as one of their good couples, though not perhaps in the great category. They are cute, however, with plenty of chemistry and lots of sexy banter.


"Your only job for the next ten days is to keep the Tripps from falling apart."


I enjoyed the HGTV feel of this book and the Tripps had a "Chip and Joanna Gaines" feel, if the Gaines went off the rails, or we were able to see their dark side. Things get a little repetitive in the middle, as the Tripps fight and Carey and James struggle with the "oh but we need our jobs" piece, but overall the book is humorous, tender, and fun. Sure, Carey and James are desperately thrown together and you have NO IDEA what will happen, right? It's all good; it's why I love a good romance. Their journey is enjoyable and the side characters--mainly the Tripps--are, well, a trip. Let me tell you, Melissa (Melly) is downright scary at times.

We also get the story told from both Carey and James' point of view, which I like, plus some police report excerpts (oh yeah) and parts of blogger and tabloid pieces. Our fabulous duo does a great job at putting us in the middle of the Tripps' scandal, and one of my favorite things about this one was that not only did we get to enjoy Carey and James' romance, but we felt like we were a part of the trainwreck sensation that was Melly and Rusty.

Overall, this is a fun read with a sexy romance and enjoyable characters. 3.75 stars, rounded to 4 stars here.

I received a copy of this book from Netgalley and Gallery Books in return for an honest review.

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You know the world won't stop, and actions speak louder: THE LUCKY ONE.

The Lucky One by Lori Rader-Day

My rating: 3.75 of 5 stars


Alice Fine's life is defined by the fact that as a young child, she was kidnapped from her backyard. But her father, a policeman, defied the odds and found Alice within hours. However, the crime terrified her parents, who moved to Chicago to try to forget about the past. Still the kidnapping haunts Alice, who spends her time on a website called the Doe Pages, devoted to finding the missing--dead or alive. As she's scrolling through one day, Alice sees a familiar face: that of her kidnapper, so many years ago. Before she knows it, Alice and some others from the Doe Pages are working to find the man before he can hurt another. During their search, they meet Merrily, a woman searching for the same man for entirely different reasons. And Alice begins to dig deeper, she will uncover secrets that have long meant to be buried.

This was my first book by Lori Rader-Day and overall, I enjoyed it. I will read more by her, I'm sure. I did find the book a little choppy and hard to follow. There was just something that slowed it down for me. I also could never quite figure out why Merrily was so invested in finding Rick, Alice's missing person. I was never fully invested in the characters, including Alice or Merrily.

Still, there are a lot of mysteries to solve here and much to keep the reader guessing. The book is intricately plotted, with lots of twists. It's often captivating and certainly interesting. 3.75 stars, rounded to 4 here.

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You look like a tragedy that just hasn't happened yet: A GOOD NEIGHBORHOOD.

A Good Neighborhood by Therese Anne Fowler

My rating: 4.5 of 5 stars


Oak Knoll is a close-knit multiracial neighborhood in North Carolina where everyone looks out for one another. Valerie Alston-Holt, a professor and single mother, has raised her biracial son, Xavier, there since he was small. Their calm life changes, however, when the Whitman family moves in next door. First they raze the current house and build a "Mcmansion," whose very existence threatens the health of Valerie's beloved historic oak tree. Brad Whitman is a local celebrity, known for his charisma and commercials for his company, Whitman HVAC. His wife, Julia, has long escaped her trailer park days and is now raising her daughters Julia and Lily in a privilege she once dreamed of. But soon the Alston-Holts and Whitmans find them themselves fighting over the oak tree's well-being and then, the budding romance between Julia and Xavier.


"An upscale new house in a simple old neighborhood. A girl on a chaise beside a swimming pool, who wants to be left alone. We begin our story here, in the minutes before the small event that will change everything."


This book took my heart and spit it right out again. Oh my goodness. It's a different, beautiful, and absolutely heartbreaking read. We're told from the very beginning--by our omniscient third person narrator--that something bad is going to happen. And yet, I lived in denial that this was true. I devoured this book in two halves. It's utterly engrossing, and the characters just pop off the pages. The teens, especially. Oh Juniper and Xavier. I will not easily forget either of you.

A Good Neighborhood tackles a host of timely topics, and it handles all of them deftly. Race, religion, sexism, feminism--none of these are exempt in the pages of this novel. We see whiteness as a symbolism for purity, and we watch as Juniper struggles with the set of values being pushed upon her by her mother and stepfather, including a "purity vow" to remain both a virgin and loyal to her future husband. And then there's Xavier, a talented musician, who has been raised by his strong mother after his father's death. She wants so much for her son to do anything, but yet lives in fear because he is biracial. Juniper, Xavier, and Valerie were such powerful characters.

I do not want to give much of the plot away, but I can tell you that this book is heartbreaking and beautiful. It will get you to think about racism and sexism. The strong themes of good versus evil are presented in such a unique and compelling manner. Adding the third-person piece just gives an extra piece to the story. This book is incredibly well-written and will stay with you for quite some time. 4.5 stars.

I received a copy of this book from Netgalley and St. Martin's Press in return for an honest review.

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I wish I could start this whole thing over again: BEHIND EVERY LIE.

Behind Every Lie by Christina McDonald

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


When Eva Hansen wakes up in the hospital, burned and battered after being struck by lightening, she learns a horrible fact: her mother, Kat, is dead. Even worse, the police tell her Kat was murdered. It quickly appears Eva is their number one suspect, having been found unconscious down the street from her mother's home. After the lightening strike, Eva can't remember what happened, but some clues from her mother's home lead her to London, her mother's former home, where she works to unravel both Kat's past and her own. But it quickly becomes apparent that someone doesn't want Eva uncovering her mother's secrets. And the more Eva begins to remember the events of that evening, the more danger she is in.


"Memories could be come distorted, twisted to suit the teller, or ignored and forgotten, pushed away. I should know. I'd been doing it for years."


This was my first book by Christina McDonald, but I'll definitely be tracking down her first book now as well. This was a spellbinding thriller, which I found quite difficult to put down. It's told in the alternating perspectives of Eva, in present-day, and her mom, Kat, in the past. The format works quite effectively and somehow gives the book a frenetic, frantic pacing and feel.

It's hard to know if Eva is telling us the truth, as she's been struck by lightning (!) and alludes to previous problems, too. Kat quickly emerges as a mysterious and dynamic character, too. As their stories unfold and start to converge, I was quite fascinated and intrigued, and the pages just flew by. I guessed quite a bit, but it didn't diminish my enjoyment at all, and I enjoyed all the twists and turns. (There's much more than Kat and Eva, but I don't want to spoil anything!)

Overall, I'm glad I followed all the #bookstagram hype and picked this one up. It was a quick, intense read. Different and engaging! 4 stars.

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I don't miss the good old days: LITTLE WONDERS.

Little Wonders: A Novel by Kate Rorick

My rating: 3.5 of 5 stars


Quinn Barrett's mantra is about being perfect. But that all crumbles when she's caught on camera at the Little Wonders Preschool Halloween parade screaming at her young son, Hamilton, and destroying his (you guessed it) perfectly-created spaceship costume. As president of the Little Wonders board, a perfect mom, and a designer, Quinn supposedly has it all together. But when fellow Little Wonders mom Daisy McGulch captures her meltdown on her phone and it goes viral, Quinn's perfect life is over. As for Daisy, she's terrified that Quinn (and the other Little Wonders parents) will find out she's responsible for the video. She's having a hard enough time fitting in the posh New England town and Little Wonders world. Daisy, with her tattoos, blue hair, and love of cosplay, isn't exactly like the other moms. But then Daisy and Quinn find themselves thrust together--and soon--maybe even friends. What will happen if Quinn finds out what Daisy did?


"In dark moments, when Quinn Barrett looked back and analyzed what caused the destruction of her entire life, she should have known it would happen at the Little Wonders Preschool Happy Halloween Costume Parade (and Dance Party)"


This book started off incredibly slow for me. Though, in its defense, I was reading it while sick with the flu and not exactly in the reading mood (or in the mood for anything, really). It took me a long time to warm to Quinn and Daisy--they just weren't the type of characters you (well, me) immediately take to. And, really, I'm a tough sell on these "mom" type books. I know these horrible type of parents exist--and these snotty schools--but some of these people and their actions just seemed so over-the-top.

I'm glad I kept reading, though, because eventually Daisy and Quinn grew into full-fledged characters, even if some of the other parents remained crazy caricatures and stereotypes. Daisy is sweet and funny, with her love of pop culture, and Quinn is relatable, with her flaws and desire for perfection. The book captures a lot of the difficult elements of parenting; what parent hasn't felt alone and out of their depth at points?

There are some really humorous moments, and I liked Daisy and Quinn's friendship a lot. Some of the events seemed a bit transparent, but Daisy and Quinn's eventual growth and my need to root for them turned this into a 3.5-star read.

I received a copy of this book from William Morrow and LibraryThing in return for an honest review. It is available as of 3/17/2020.

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I'm a little more broken open, but a little more free: THE OPERATOR.

The Operator by Gretchen Berg

My rating: 3.75 of 5 stars


Vivian Dalton is a switchboard operator in the small town of Wooster, Ohio. She knows the people of her town quite well--thanks in no small part to the eavesdropping she and the other women do while working at Bell. Usually it's pretty harmless, but that all changes one December night when Vivian listens in on a call between Betty Miller--a rich woman whom she despises--and someone else, whom she doesn't recognize. Their conversation reveals a shocking secret that affects Vivian personally and, if true, will change her life forever. Vivian is horrified, and she starts to investigate. In doing so, she begins to unearth even more secrets and lies.


"That was the thing about small towns. Everyone knew everyone else's business."


I don't often pick up historical fiction, but I won this book, and it sounded interesting. It certainly was. This is a fascinating look at small town relationships and the power of secrets and family. Vivian is quite a character; married to her husband, Edward, for fifteen years, with a daughter Charlotte, who is a sophomore in high school. Her life is small and mainly confined to Wooster. Vivian resents her siblings who finished high school, something she couldn't do as she had to help her family when money grew tight.

The book starts off a little slow, as I'm never a huge fan when we're told there's a huge secret (what Vivian overhears) but it isn't revealed. Once we finally find out what it was, things pick up. Vivian takes on more power, showing a tough and determined side, especially for what was expected of women in 1950s. The book does a good job of illustrating the limitations, but also strengths, of women in the time period. Berg also includes excerpts from Vivian's childhood and growing in the 1930s. I enjoyed seeing how different things were and watching Vivian overcome so much. Her daughter, Charlotte, was a great character, too. There are also a lot of side stories, too, involving a host of small town Wooster characters and even a bank robbery.

Overall, while this took a while to warm up, it was an intriguing look at lies and secrets and how they affected the Dalton family. It's easy to get invested in Vivian and Charlotte (her husband, Edward, seemed like a pretty one-dimensional character, though). It does a strong job of portraying women and all they endure. The book is witty and heartfelt as well. 3.75 stars, rounded to four here.

I won a copy of this book from William Morrow.

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And you know you lie best when you lie to you: THE SEA OF LOST GIRLS.

The Sea of Lost Girls by Carol Goodman

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Tessa has started her life over at Haywood, an elite boarding school in coastal Maine. She teaches English there and is married to a well-respected fellow professor, Harmon. Her seventeen-year-old son, Rudy, while troubled in the past, seems to be doing well. This is much in part to his girlfriend, Lila Zeller, a smart and focused teen. But then Tessa gets an early morning text from Rudy, asking her to pick him up. He and Lila had a fight, and Tessa finds him wet and shivering. Later that morning they receive the devastating news that Lila's dead body was found on the beach, not far from where Tessa picked Rudy up. Soon there are whispers of murder surrounding Lila's death, and both Tessa's husband and son find themselves under investigation. And the more she delves into Haywood's past, the more she realizes she isn't the only one keeping secrets.


"When we landed here in this pretty harbor town with its sailboats and white clapboard houses I'd thought we'd come to a place where we'd always be safe. But Rudy has always had a nose for darkness."


I love Carol Goodman's books, and I'm always into a good boarding school book, so picking up this one was a no-brainer. She doesn't disappoint. This is a quick, captivating story that keeps you guessing the entire time. While Tessa isn't always the most likeable character, I was certainly invested in her story.

Goodman deftly weaves two storylines together--the present, featuring Tessa's family and Lila's death and the past, which revolves around the titular lost girls, whom tie back to Haywood in its earlier days. We also learn more about Tessa's past and her long-hidden secrets, many of which also link into Haywood itself. Somehow all of this works together. It's a mysterious, sometimes dark story, and one that keeps you wondering. I changed my mind several times about who could have harmed Lila. I love a book that keeps me on my toes. I also enjoyed the story of the lost girls and the school's eerie stories.

Goodman is a master storyteller, and this book flies by. She brings in links such as "The Crucible," which the Haywood students are performing, and ties to the #metoo movement. They all augment this strong story about the power of lies and hidden secrets. The parallels between the past and present are expertly woven together. 4 stars.

I received a copy of this novel from Edelweiss and William Morrow in return for an honest review.

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You can find me where I've been waiting: MY DARK VANESSA.

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


At fifteen, the very bright Vanessa Wye earns a scholarship position to boarding school. It's the year 2000. There she meets Jacob Strane, her English teacher, who is forty-two-years-old. Soon the two are involved in a powerful relationship--and one that quickly turns sexual. Seventeen years later, Vanessa is working as a concierge at a hotel, just another in a series of dead-end jobs. She hasn't had any real serious relationships. And now, Jacob Strane, has been accused of sexual abuse by a former student, Taylor Birch. Taylor tracks down Vanessa, wanting her to share her story, too. But Vanessa doesn't feel she was abused by Strane. In fact, her entire life is framed by her love story with Strane. As Taylor Birch's story gains traction in the press, Vanessa must confront her past and what it means to her.


"'I'm going to ruin you.' He says it with obvious torment, a glimpse into how much he's thought about it, wrestled with it."


This book...wow. I was absolutely captivated by Vanessa's story. She tells her tale in two parts: her adolescence, as she meets Jacob Strane at school and they begin their relationship; and then the present, as Taylor Birch's story hits the press and Vanessa must deal with the fact that her love for Jacob Strane is being portrayed as abuse and assault.


"It's strange to know that whenever I remember myself at fifteen, I'll think of this."


For a book with such dark subject matter, it's really beautiful. Russell is a wonderful writer, and this story unfolds almost lyrically. It's so well-done and completely mesmerizing. The sections featuring young Vanessa capture that early adolescent yearning and longing so perfectly--that deep desire to feel needed and wanted. To Vanessa, this is a love story, a romantic tale of a man needing and loving her. She blocks out and overlooks the parts of the story that don't fit. Understanding that some victims don't see abuse as abuse is key to the story, and Russell portrays the dynamic between Strane and Vanessa so well.


"'It's just my luck,' he said, 'that when I finally find my soul mate, she's fifteen years old.'"


As a result, we get a very thoughtful look at abuse, rape, and assault. And, yes, the sections of older Vanessa's story touch across the #metoo movement, as Taylor Birch and others want so desperately for Vanessa to join their side, to share her story. For them or for Vanessa, it's hard to say. This book is so dark, yet so insightful. Vanessa's inner struggle--basically she's having to re-look at the entire foundation upon which her life is built--is one of the most profoundly written and moving journeys I've seen in literature in quite some time. It's not easy to read about, certainly, and it's not always easy to understand her actions, of course. The story can make you uncomfortable; it can feel problematic. But it's an important read, and it's so beautifully and poetically written. I highly recommend it (taking into account the obvious trigger warnings, of course). 4.5+ stars.

I received a copy of this novel from William Morrow in return for an honest review; it is available on 3/10/2020.

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This is a life of extremes: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

You Are Not Alone by Greer Hendricks

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


A few seconds change Shay Miller's life forever. It's almost ironic, as Shay, 31, and a market researcher, is obsessed with data. She's been keeping data books since age eleven, listing statistics and facts the way other girls write in diaries. Shay's recently lost her job, and her roommate and best friend, Sean, spends more time with his girlfriend than her. She feels hopeless and isolated. Then everything changes, and Shay finds herself swept up in the glamorous world of the Moore sisters, Cassandra and Jane. They have a way of making Shay feel different. They also seem to be everywhere, shaping Shay's life in strange ways.

I've learned by now when I pick up a book by the Hendricks-Pekkanen duo that I need to just suspend disbelief for a bit and go with it. If I can do that and enjoy the ride, then the book is a fun little escape mechanism. When looked at via this prism, You Are Not Alone was very successful.

The book is told from different points of view that often stray into various time periods, and it took me a while to keep all the characters straight. Cassandra and Jane have a host of friends, and I had to bookmark the page that introduced them all so I could remember who was who for a while. There seem to be unreliable narrators galore for a while--can we trust Shay? The sisters? Their friends?

I don't want to get too much into the plot and give anything away. It's a crazy story and again, not really probable (I hope). However, it's highly addictive, and I found the book to be compulsively readable. I also really grew to like Shay, even if I was suspicious about her.

There are some great twists and turns in this thriller, which I really enjoyed. I liked how this one kept me guessing, even if there was an eye roll or two in there too. It was definitely wild! 4 stars.

I received a copy of this book via a Goodreads Giveaway.

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She starts to dream and then she stops herself: THE JETSETTERS.

The Jetsetters by Amanda Eyre Ward

My rating: 3.75 of 5 stars


Charlotte Perkins is 71, and her best friend has just died. Long single, she longs to be touched and loved again, so she writes an essay (a rather racy one at that) to the "Become a Jetsetter" contest to win a trip for her entire family (and to perhaps meet someone). Charlotte is shocked and elated when she actually wins, earning the the chance to take her three children to Athens, Greece and on a nine-day cruise to Barcelona, Spain. Lee, a struggling actress who has just returned home on a "break" from acting (and from her famous ex-boyfriend) figures she has nothing better to do. Cord, her son, a wealthy New Yorker, isn't thrilled about being trapped on a ship while he struggles with his sobriety. And Regan, an exhausted mother of two daughters, can't believe it when her irritating husband Matt joins the group. This will be a particularly fun trip since Lee and Regan haven't spoken in ten years. Trapped on this adventure together, secrets come out and the Perkins family suddenly learns more than they ever wanted to know about each one another.

It took me a while to process this one. I really enjoy Amanda Eyre Ward's writing, and I have such a soft spot for her book, The Same Sky, which is one of my absolute favorite novels. This book is very different from that one, and it took me some time to warm to the pacing and the characters. Charlotte turned me off in the beginning, and I was just slow to get into the book. We learn that the Perkins kids had a rough childhood, but one that also bonded them together. Yet when the book opens, none of them are particularly close to each other--or their mother.


"This day, and the two more excruciating days that followed--days of sand and beer-scented misery--would be the last time Lee went on vacation with her mother and siblings. Until thirty-two years later, when they became jetsetters."


The book presents the story from not only Charlotte's point of view, but that of each of her wayward children. None of the kids are easy to like at first, but Ward's prose makes them come to life before our eyes. They are fallible, for sure, and it's hard not to feel a bit sorry for everyone. I for one am not sure I could handle being trapped on a cruise ship with a group of unhappy family members.


"Oh. Charlotte's children. To her great sadness and bewilderment, Charlotte's three adult children were lost to her, and perhaps to themselves."


The novel does an excellent job at portraying all the difficult relationships in the book, giving us an in-depth portrait of a complicated family. While the story is told solely over the span of their trip, we learn all about Charlotte's life--much of it hidden away from her children--and the lives of her three kids, even bits and pieces of their childhood and backstories. No one has had an easy go of it, for sure. How much do parents, and their actions, affect their kids, the book asks. How do families in general influence the people we become. They have so much power: both to help and to hurt.

It's funny, this wasn't always a story I enjoyed, even though there are humorous and touching moments, but I recognized its powerful parts too. Overall, I would rate this at 3.75 stars, rounded up to 4 stars here. It's worth a read.

I received a copy of this book from Random House - Ballantine and Netgalley in return for an honest review. It is out today, 3/3/2020!

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