Best Of... my favorite reads of 2019!

Well, I'm a few days late, but don't hold it against me! It's that time -- to look back on my favorite books of the past year. At the beginning of 2019, I set my goal on the site, Goodreads, to read 95 books this year. Some sort of strange magic happened, and I somehow read 133 books! I'm honestly not sure how that happened! This means there were a lot of good books, and it was very difficult to narrow down my favorites! If you follow this link, you can take a look at all the books I read in 2019 and my ratings. As always, note that not all books might not be published in 2019, of course, they just happened to be books I picked up over the year.


You can find reviews of any of these via my Goodreads site. Happy reading in 2020 and beyond!!

So, in no particular order, my top books of 2019...

1. Ivy Aberdeen's Letter to the World by Ashley Blake Herring. Ivy Aberdeen is with feeling invisible in her family. Things get worse when a tornado destroys their home, displacing the family. In the aftermath, Ivy—an artist—loses a notebook filled her most precious drawings. When they start showing up in her locker with notes attached, Ivy realizes the note-leaver may be on to what Ivy can barely voice herself: she has crushes and dreams about girls. This unique middle grade novel (Ivy is 12) is yet another beautifully written book from Blake that tells a story so many kids need to hear. Oh Ivy. I loved this kid. She goes through so much, and we see her present tough, real feelings. She’s artistic, resilient, and witty. And, oh yeah, she likes girls. It’s just the best sort of representation in the world, you know? This book is lovely, real, and tells an invaluable story. It’s so funny and sweet, and I honestly would recommend it for everyone.

2. Call Down the Hawk by Maggie Stiefvater. In a new trilogy that ties into the Raven Cycle books, Ronan Lynch and Adam Parrish are back. So are Ronan's brothers, Matthew and Declan. Here, we focus on the dreamers and the dreamed. Dreamers who must control their dreaming. And those items or even people they have brought back from their dreams. For a person who has been dreamed will sleep forever if their dreamer should die. There are also are those who hunt the dreamers. Their desire is to destroy all dreamers, convinced that doing so can stop the end of the world. This is a magical read that creates an amazing world of dreamers, dreamed, and hunters. Be prepared for words like Zeds and Visionaries. Be prepared for beauty and fantasy and terror. It's a breathless and beautiful read, and now I'll just be waiting impatiently for the next book.

3. My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell. At fifteen, the very bright Vanessa Wye earns a scholarship position to boarding school. It's the year 2000. There she meets Jacob Strane, her English teacher, who is forty-two-years-old. Soon the two are involved in a powerful relationship--and one that quickly turns sexual. Seventeen years later, Vanessa is working as a concierge at a hotel, just another in a series of dead-end jobs. And now, Jacob Strane, has been accused of sexual abuse by a former student, Taylor Birch. Taylor tracks down Vanessa, wanting her to share her story, too. But Vanessa doesn't feel she was abused by Strane. In fact, her entire life is framed by her love story with Strane. As Taylor Birch's story gains traction in the press, Vanessa must confront her past and what it means to her. This book...wow. I was absolutely captivated by Vanessa's story. For a book with such dark subject matter, it's really beautiful. Russell is a wonderful writer, and this story unfolds almost lyrically. To Vanessa, this is a love story, a romantic tale of a man needing and loving her. Understanding that some victims don't see abuse as abuse is key to the story, and Russell portrays the dynamic between Strane and Vanessa so well. As a result, we get a very thoughtful look at abuse, rape, and assault. And, yes, the sections of older Vanessa's story touch across the #metoo movement, as Taylor Birch and others want so desperately for Vanessa to join their side, to share her story. This book is so dark, yet so insightful. Vanessa's inner struggle--basically she's having to re-look at the entire foundation upon which her life is built--is one of the most profoundly written and moving journeys I've seen in literature in quite some time. It's not easy to read about, certainly, and it's not always easy to understand her actions, of course. The story can make you uncomfortable; it can feel problematic. But it's an important read, and it's so beautifully and poetically written. I highly recommend it (taking into account the obvious trigger warnings, of course). (Note that this novel will be released in March 2020.)

4. Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston. This is the first ever audiobook to make it to my Best Of list--and does it ever deserve it! A book where the President’s son falls for the Prince of Wales?! But of course! This book is raunchy and the language is rather explicit, and my goodness, I loved it. I was driving down the road laughing and crying. Wiping away actual tears at points. McQuiston combines a sort of coming of age love story against the backdrop of politics. Both storylines are compelling beyond belief. Alex, the President’s son and our main character, is incredibly well-written. Funny, sweet, and so real. And Henry, our Prince, is lovely too. It’s impossible not to root for them. This book is witty, sweet, a surprising nail biter at times, and offers such a great message—now more than ever. (And the narrator in this one was easily my favorite in my limited audiobook career.) Cannot recommend it enough!!

5. The Mighty Heart of Sunny St. James by Ashley Herring Blake. I wasn't going to put two books by Blake on this list, but I loved them both too much to choose! Sunny St. James is twelve and getting a new heart. She was diagnosed at the age of ten with cardiomyopathy: a failing heart. Sunny’s been through a lot in her short life. Her dad passed away in an accident right after she was born. When she was four, her mom, Lena, couldn’t take care of her anymore, so she gave her to her best friend, Kate. And recently, Sunny’s best friendship with Margot ended. But she’s getting a heart transplant, and everything is going to change now. Sunny even has a new life plan, which includes finding a new best friend and kissing some boys. So when she meets Quinn, a new girl, on the beach, it seems like all the pieces of her plan are coming together. But Quinn makes Sunny question some things—including whether she wants to kiss boys at all. Oh this book, this book. I simply fell head over heels for Sunny, who stole my heart from the first pages of this beautiful book. She is strong, vulnerable, and a darling character who came to life through Blake’s lovely writing. She goes through so much in her life—and in the chapters of this book—and yet there’s so much hope and laughter. The book opens with Sunny’s transplant and then we move on from there, as she works to implement her three-step plan: “Step One: Do awesome amazing things I could never do before. Step Two: Find a new best friend. Step Three: Find a boy and kiss him.” This book does such an amazing job at capturing the loneliness of young gay kids. I so wish there books like this around when I was a teen. Sunny is so sweet, so real, and so raw as she works through her confusion about liking girls. This is such a wonderful and needed book for middle schoolers (and everyone)—for queer kids as they try to figure out things like Sunny and for the allies who need to support them. It’s such a lovely story at its heart—because, truly, it’s a book about hearts and those you love and who love you. I defy you to read this book and not fall in love with Sunny St. James. She is a character who will stick with you long after you read the last page. Blake has created yet another lasting story through her magical words.

6. The Stories You Tell by Kristen Lepionka. Lepionka's Private Investigator Roxane Weary books consistently make my Best Of lists every year, because they are that good. In the third book in the series, Roxane and her brother, Andrew, are night owls, but it's still never good news when she gets a call from Andrew in the middle of the night. This time, Andrew tells her that he's just had the strangest visit from Addison Stowe, a young woman who used to work with him at the hotel where he tends bar. She seemed panicked and scared, begging to used Andrew's phone, and she disappeared almost as quickly as she arrived. At Andrew's pleading, Roxane starts looking for Addison, but she quickly realizes this is not a straightforward case. Soon the police are on Addison's trail--and Andrew's too. Add a dead cop to the mix, and it looks like Andrew could be mixed up in something serious. I have a particular affinity for one Roxane Weary, our sarcastic, intelligent, bisexual PI. This book finds Roxane on a slightly personal quest, as her search for Addison gets real fast, once it looks like Andrew could be in some big time trouble. Her searching leads her to a shady nightclub--including its shifty manager--and some of Addison's suburban friends. Anyway, despite a cast of recurring characters, this one will standalone just fine. That being said, if you haven't read the first two books, I highly recommend them. The conversational first-person style Lepionka uses for Roxane is amazing and draws you in from the start. I adore Roxane's voice. Roxane is a witty, awesome, complex main character, and she's nearly impossible not to love. The story itself is dark and twisted, with plenty of twists and turns to keep you guessing. No gimmicks, just a good mystery. There's lots of humor, lots of surprises, and lots of Roxane, one of the best PIs around.

7. Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes. This is such raw, real, funny, and lovely read. Evvie Drake lives alone in her small Maine town. She's recently widowed and the entire town--including her best friend, Andy--thinks her solitude is due to her grief. Meanwhile, in New York, pitcher Dean Tenney is a national joke. He's struggling with the "yips" --Dean can no longer pitch properly, and he has no idea why. Dean is also Andy's childhood friend, and so he accepts an invitation to stay in Evvie's back apartment. She needs the money, and he needs a place to get away. They make a deal: he won't ask about her husband, and she won't ask about baseball. But, even so, the two form an unlikely friendship. This book is so much more than a typical romance. Evvie is not a romance caricature at all. There is true grief that screams across the pages in this novel--Evvie's and, yes, Dean's too. Dean is not just a celebrity love interest tossed in for fun. You root for him--and for them. This story, this book. It has these funny moments and cute sections. It's sweet and tender, but there is no schmaltz. And Holmes weaves in pop culture quite seamlessly, too. Evvie and Dean will seem like people to you, your friends, and they will break your hearts, and yet, in the end, maybe mend them too. Such a wonderful read!

8. Life and Other Inconveniences by Kristan Higgins. Emma London is kicked out her home as pregnant teen. It particularly stings, because when Emma's mom died when she was a kid, her dad dropped her on his own mom's doorstop and never looked back. Genevieve, Emma's wealthy grandmother, took her in and raised her, but she never had much love for Emma. Perhaps because Genevieve was already dealing with her own tragedies: the disappearance of her young son, followed by the early death of her husband. Still, she had time to build a fashion empire--and neglect her other son (Emma's father). Emma hasn't let any of her family baggage stop her. She's built a good life for herself and her teenage daughter, Riley. But now she has a surprise call from Genevieve, asking her for help. Emma isn't sure she can go home again, but what if it's what's best for Riley? I love Kristan Higgins' books and this one was no exception. Don’t go in expecting a light and fluffy romance, though. Sure, there are some romantic elements here and plenty of Higgins’ trademark wit and humor, but this is also a serious read that deals with momentous life events and tragedies. It’s sad, poignant, touching, and real. Because Higgins’ characters are so true to life, and because she immerses you so fully in their world, it’s easy to both laugh and cry while reading. It’s a character-driven read, and I was quickly drawn to Emma, Riley, and several others.

9. The Stranger Diaries by Elly Griffiths. I'm not sure it's a Best Of list without an appearance by Elly Griffiths! Clare Cassidy is an English teacher at Talgarth High. She's also writing a book on Gothic writer R.M. Holland, known for his famous ghost story, "The Stranger." Clare is horrified when she's told that her close friend in the English department, Ella, has been murdered. Even worse, it seems like Ella's death has linkages to Clare and "The Stranger"--with a line from the story left at the crime scene. Clare turns to her diary, her one safe place. Then one day she finds writing in her diary that isn't hers. Is a murderer writing directly to Clare? The book gets off to an engaging start from the beginning. It's creepy and interesting from page one and never stops. We get pieces of R.M. Holland's story "The Stranger" interwoven in our story, too, and have to figure out how it aligns to the tale unfolding before our eyes. Griffiths is just so darn good at writing her characters. Clare and Harbinder are both so uniquely "them" and different from each other from the get-go. I was completely engrossed in the story and caught up in their lives. This novel is an excellent mystery and incorporates creepy Gothic undertones. I couldn't help but get a little spooked when Clare was discovering writing that wasn't hers in her journal. Even better, it's just so good and well-written! It kept me guessing the entire time, and putting all the pieces together down the finish line was fun. I literally had no idea who had done it--it was incredibly well-done!

10. The Dreamers by Karen Thompson Walker. In Santa Lora, California, it all begins at the college. It precisely originates with Kara, who climbs into her bed and never wakes up. Her roommate, Mei, finds her, panicking when nothing rouses the girl. Then another girl falls asleep. And another. And then more. Soon classes are canceled. The kids on the floor are quarantined. And before you know it, things escalate from there. A mapping of brain activity shows that the sleepers are dreaming--dreaming extraordinarily active dreams in fact. Can anything stop "the sickness" from spreading? I found this book to be utterly fascinating and such a wonderful change of pace. It was almost like reading a horror film at some points (and I'm not the type who likes scary movies). It was compulsively readable--I read it in five settings, completely drawn into the creepy, amazing, and sometimes horrifying story. It's beautifully written, which is amazing, considering it's mostly a book about a near plague spreading through a town. The characters, even though their chapters are often short and sparse, are fully-formed. It's easy to get attached to them and pulled into their lives, which are so quickly altered by the sickness.

11. The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren. I read a lot more contemporary romance in 2019 and this one was one of my favorites! Ami and Olive Torres are twins, but they couldn't be more different. Ami is known for her good luck. She wins everything (seriously, everything--her entire wedding is basically free thanks to her winnings). Olive, on the other hand, has chronic bad luck. As of late, her roommate moved out, forcing Olive to find a new, more expensive place, and she lost her job. Now Ami's getting married to Dane, and therefore Olive must face her worst nemesis: Dane's older brother, Ethan, aka the best man. But then everyone at Ami's wedding gets sick--really sick--after eating the buffet, except for Olive and Ethan. So Ami encourages Olive--and Dane, Ethan--to take the couple's free honeymoon to Maui. The two reluctantly agree, and Olive's luck seems to be turning. She's even offered a new job while waiting at the airport. But at the resort, she and Ethan run into Olive's new boss, forcing them to continue the lie of being a happy newly married couple. But Olive finds she doesn't really mind pretending to be married to Ethan. This was such an enjoyable romance. It was so easy to fall for Olive, who is such a sweet and easy protagonist to root for. The witty banter between her and Ethan begins at Ami's wedding and never stops. There's immediate sexual tension and chemistry between these two, and you can't help but want them to get together and totally love this adorable couple. There are definitely some crazy situations in this book, but it still felt very real and true. There are real heartfelt moments, and Olive and Ami's twin relationship is an anchoring piece of the entire novel. This is a delicious, sexy romance and also a lovely coming-of-age story for Olive. I loved both sides of the book. It's downright hilarious in parts, and it's impossible not to love Olive. Even better, Olive and Ethan are a great, memorable couple. The ending is also amazing, and I found myself literally cheering at parts of it. This would make a great movie, truly. Honestly, there was really nothing I didn't love about this one.

12. The Arrangement by Robyn Harding. One of my favorite thrillers of the year--Twenty-one-year-old Natalie gratefully escaped her small-town life in Washington state, including an obsessive ex-boyfriend. But now the glamorous NYC life she dreamed of is anything but: even with a partial scholarship, she's struggling to pay her tuition and rent. So when her friend tells her of a possible solution--go online and find an older sugar daddy: a wealthy man who pays her for dates--Natalie is intrigued. She figures it is a temporary solution until she gets back on her feet. But then she meets Gabe Turnmill, a handsome lawyer, more than thirty years older her senior. Soon she's madly in love with Gabe, who gives her a monthly allowance and helps her find her own apartment. But Gabe has his own family and life, and when he ends things with Natalie, she's devastated, unable to let things go. She begins stalking Gabe and his family. Gabe is a powerful man, however, and he's not going to let his sugar baby ruin his life. Wow, this book was utterly captivating! This novel starts out with Natalie calling her long-estranged father "I killed someone," she says. From there, we flash back four months, learning more about Natalie's life as an art student and how she winds up as a sugar baby. It's utterly fascinating--learning about this life and how Natalie becomes tied up in it. The characters in this book are spot-on. Talk about creepy, obsessive, and utter trainwrecks. These two are so messed up. And I loved them! I could not put this book down! I simply could not look away from Natalie and Gabe and their absolutely bizarre relationship. This book is a crazy mix of thriller, mystery, and romantic suspense. Harding does such a wonderful job with her main characters and their utterly twisted minds. The point of view switches between the two, and we hear from some of the supporting cast, too. It helps up the drama and suspense, for sure. New York City is a great backdrop for all that goes down. Overall, totally loved this one.

13. Mrs. Everything by Jennifer Weiner. Jo and Bethie, sisters growing up in 1950s Detroit, are leading rather rigid lives. Jo is the troubled and angry older sister--the "different" one, while Bethie is the adored, perfect younger sister. Jo feels completely misunderstood by their mother, Sarah, but at least she has their father to act as a go-between. But, as the sisters grow up and move out, they somehow find their roles and lives changing. Bethie becomes the free spirit: the one unable to settle down and please their mother. Meanwhile, Jo marries and leads a picture-perfect life with her husband and children. Yet, deep down, neither sister is truly happy. This is a really wonderful novel from Jennifer Weiner. She's written a gorgeous and sweeping epic novel, starting with Jo and Bethie as children and continuing throughout the majority of their lives. The book is told from both Jo and Bethie's perspectives, and Weiner does a wonderful job of not only capturing each of their own unique voices, but telling the story from their perspective at that particular time period. So this book touches on a lot of tough subjects--racism, immigration, feminism, sexual orientation, religion, sexual assault, and more. It offers a discussion on womanhood, motherhood, marriage, and the options available to women (or not). Perhaps in the hands of a lesser author, this would all be too much, but through Weiner's deft writing, it's really truly beautifully done. The book spans a huge time period, but it never feels rushed or as if too much is crammed in. Overall, this is a really lovely book. It's heartbreaking at times, for sure, and I cried at the end, but it's a testament to how much I fell for these two sisters. Its story of strength and love is a wonderful theme. It's a book for and about women, with some excellent messaging about women and society.

14. After the End by Clare Mackintosh. Max and Pip have a deep, untenable bond and a strong marriage that they feel is sealed by fate. But when their nearly three-year-old son, Dylan, gets sick, everything they know changes. Dylan has a brain tumor, and now Pip spends her days in the PICU, while Max tries to juggle work and being strong for his wife and child. Then, the couple receives the worst of all news: the chemo isn't helping Dylan's tumor, and the doctors feel Dylan's condition is terminal. Suddenly, Max and Pip find themselves on opposite sides--each wanting different medical treatment for their beloved boy. Clare Mackintosh offers us a beautiful, poignant, and heartbreaking book based on her life experiences, having lost her own son. Knowing this makes the book even more tender and real, as each word is based on a kernel of truth. Reading this book isn't always easy--as a parent, my heart digested every word and put myself in the shoes of Max and Pip. This book makes you think, and it makes you so incredibly grateful for your own life, wanting to snuggle your own children and hold them dear. The story is one of loss, yes, but it's also a love story: Max and Pip, Dylan and his family, and more. We are introduced to Dylan's family and also to Dylan's doctor, Leila, whom I really liked. Mackintosh is best known for her thrillers, and, this book is just as well-written as those. And, interestingly enough, she throws in a bit of a twist here, too. I won't spoil it, per se, but will tell you that this book is a fascinating exploration of choices, allowing you to think about life and the various paths that everyone can take. It's a sad book, yes, but lovely too--a tribute to parents, medical professionals, and to the children we love so much. It's a reminder to cherish those we hold dear and that life can be short but beautiful, no matter which way it may turn out.

15. The Flatshare by Beth O'Leary. Tiffy needs a place to stay. Leon needs money. Leon puts an ad in the paper, Tiffy answers it, and viola. While everyone else (read: their friends) think it's a little crazy, the flatshare seems to make perfect sense. Leon is in the flat while Tiffy is at work; she lives there while he works night shifts. He clears out on weekends. But, of course, life isn't always so simple. Tiffy is carrying baggage--a lot of baggage--from her previous relationship. And then there's Richie, Leon's brother, who is in prison. And you know, the fact that the Leon and Tiffy have never met, with the whole arrangement being facilitated by his reluctant girlfriend, Kay. But nothing could go wrong, right? This was such a funny, sexy, and sweet read, but balanced out by its serious themes, too. I was a little wary at first, because Tiffy seemed completely obsessed with Justin, her ex, and utterly lacking in self-esteem, and I wasn't sure I'd care for her. But it quickly becomes apparent that there is/was more to Tiffy and Justin's relationship than meets the eye, and that our heroine is battling a lot. And then there's Leon, our quiet nurse, who I liked nearly immediately. With Tiffy and Leon having never met, we receive their communication via notes they leave in the flat, which is actually way more charming and witty that it might sound. O'Leary gives a wonderful surface layer of funny, quirky, and sweet. I mean, we know what we are getting, right? These two flatmates are going to fall in love via notes or something. But there's such a deeper, serious layer underneath due to Tiffy and Leon's own troubles. It brings such a nice addition to the usual formula and just gave the story so much more. Overall, this book made me smile. It's endearing and fun. I loved both Tiffy and Leon and their supporting cast.

16. The Stone Circle by Elly Griffiths. Another repeat author this year, but I'd be remiss to leave off the latest in the Ruth Galloway series! The wonderful Elly Griffiths brings us back to her first Ruth Galloway book, The Crossing Places in this, her eleventh Ruth story. Yet, the tale feels as fresh and intriguing as ever. I just love the Ruth Galloway series--the tone of these books is unlike almost any other. Ruth seems real to me by now, like an old friend, and don't even get me started on Nelson, our beloved, sarcastic, DCI. Griffiths has an amazing ability to characterize Ruth and Nelson (and the whole crew) and capture their own distinct voices. Her books are at turns funny, familiar, and sometimes heartbreaking as Ruth and Nelson try to navigate their own relationship--and the other relationships that may or may not keep them apart. It almost seems like icing on the cake that we are treated to an enjoyable mystery along with our lovely characters and just overall familiarity. I found the case in this one to be engrossing, especially with the ties back to the earlier book. (I highly recommend reading this series from the beginning--it's the best way to catch all the little nuances and bits of humor, but the book will stand alone.) All in all, as always, another winner from Griffiths. I could read her books constantly, and I love Ruth and Nelson (and Kate, Ruth's seven-year-old) so dearly! They truly seem real to me. If you've been reading this series from book #1, you'll enjoy the usual humor (oh Nelson) and returning to our cast of characters. If you like a good mystery (with some archaeological flavor sprinkled in), you won't be disappointed either.

17. Tweet Cute by Emma Lord. Pepper is a perfectionist. Her life revolves around school and her family's business, Big League Burger, which started as a mom-and-pop shop in Nashville when Pepper's parents were still married. Now it's the fourth largest fast-food franchise in the country. And Pepper's parents aren't together anymore. She currently lives in New York City with her mom, and attends Stone Hall Academy, an elite private school that, as she puts it, is so "competitive even Blair Waldorf would probably burn within two minutes of crossing its threshold." And oh yeah, she's often forced by her Mom to post on Big League Burger's corporate Twitter account. Then there's Jack. Twin brother of the far more popular, Ethan, Jack is the class clown. The one who endlessly teases Pepper. He works in his family's deli, Girl Cheesing, because that's what he's supposed to do, right? But then Big League Burger steals his grandmother's famous grilled cheese recipe. And suddenly Girl Cheesing and Big League Burger are at war, Twitter style. With Jack and Pepper behind each tweet. But while they are dueling in out in a viral--and rather public--battle, they may just be falling for each other in real life. I absolutely loved this book. Pepper and Jack (ship name "Pepperjack") jump off the pages of Lord's well-written, adorable romance. This is a cute yet serious read featuring a wonderful couple that can certainly appeal beyond a YA audience. Jack and Pepper come to us with parallel stories--each burdened with the load of trying to live up to their parents' standards. I felt my heart going out to these poor kids. I enjoyed the juxtaposition of them appearing as adults and kids: deep down, they were so sweet, wanting to be happy and to find love among all the pressures in their lives. (And boy, do they deal with a lot!) Overall, this is a lovely story--funny, sweet, serious, and romantic. Jack and Pepper are a great couple, with real problems and yet they offer plenty of hilarious and heartfelt moments. This book should appeal to the YA audience, but easily entertain beyond too. It's an enjoyable little trip into another world. (Note that this novel will be released in January 21, 2020.)

18. Never Look Back by Alison Gaylin. For Quentin Garrison, his podcast, entitled Closure, is truly about just that--closure. It centers on a series of murders in the 1970s committed by teens Gabriel LeRoy and April Cooper. The victims included Quentin's mother's little sister and his grandmother. As a result, Quentin has spent most of his life raised by a neglectful, drug addict mom. For Robin Diamond, a columnist, the podcast causes only confusion. When Quentin contacts her about it, asking specifically about April Cooper and tying her to Robin's own mother, Robin is bewildered. But the more she delves into the murders, the more she starts to wonder. Then there's a terrible home invasion at her parent's house, killing her father and leaving her mom unconscious. This was an excellent thriller that had me hooked from the first page. It's dark, gritty, and utterly mesmerizing. The way everything is woven together is perfect: I found myself completely captivated and read basically the last half of the book in one breathless setting, staying up past my bedtime to finish it. We learn that both Gabriel and April died in a fire at the site of their last attempted murder. So when Quentin receives a tip claiming that April Cooper is still alive, it changes everything, including the focus of his podcast. I loved the suspense--constantly wondering if April was alive and if she was, who she could be. And then, there's the aspect of was April "good" or "bad" during the killings. So many people blamed her for the deaths of their loved ones, and nothing is black or white in this book. This is often a dark book, and there are many scenes of violence. But, for me, it was the emotional scenes that were the toughest to read. There are many touching moments, too, and I found myself attached to several of the characters. Reading young April's letters was quite a feat. Gaylin is such an excellent writer, and she just pulls you into the story so effortlessly--you feel as if you are there with her characters. Throw in some great twists and turns and this is an excellent and suspenseful novel.

19. The Vanishing Stair by Maureen Johnson. Stevie Bell loves Ellingham Academy and the mystery that drew her to the school in the first place. But while she was trying to solve it, a classmate of hers died instead. Stevie figured out what happened, but the aftermath made her conservative parents pull her from the school. Stevie misses Ellingham and all its quirks. She also misses the friends she made there--even David, with whom she shared a kiss--and then learned he was the son of the horrible politician Edward King. So imagine Stevie's surprise when Edward King himself shows up at Stevie's house. He has a deal that's hard to resist: he'll convince Stevie's Edward King-loving parents to send her back to Ellingham, if she agrees to watch over David and get him to behave at school. So Stevie's back, working on the long-unsolved Ellingham mystery and riddles. But the more she uncovers, the deeper trouble she--and her friends--may be getting into. This book was so compulsively readable that I read it in two sittings, on two flights. Johnson is just so good at getting into her characters' heads--I love Stevie. I loved her in the last book, and I loved her here. She's smart, she's relatable, and she's always getting into trouble. There's plenty of exploring, detective work, and yes, tunnels, in this one to keep you more than interested. Stevie is busy unraveling the Ellingham Academy mystery in this one, and I'm happy to say she goes a long way in book #2. What I love about this series is that you get a great underlying mystery, but there are always little side mysteries, plus just the general business of Stevie trying to live her life. She's struggling with being back at Ellingham--dealing with what it means to have struck a deal with Edward King, negotiating her boundaries with David, and much more. Johnson deals with Stevie's anxiety, her intelligence, and just her general no-nonsense approach to life in such realistic ways: I love it all. So, yeah, I can't think of anything I didn't like here, except that the book ended, and now I have to wait *forever* again to find out what happens!

20. The Invited by Jennifer McMahon. Helen and Nate have a nice, settled life as teachers at a private school in Connecticut. But they also have aspirations for a simpler life. So using their savings and an inheritance, they buy 40+ acres in the tiny village of Hartsboro, Vermont and decide to build their own dream house themselves. Helen, a history teacher, wants a house and land with history--and she gets her wish when she discovers the story of Hattie Breckenridge, a woman who apparently lived (and died) on their property over a hundred years ago. Marked by the villagers as a witch, Hattie was killed, leaving behind her young daughter, Jane. Helen becomes fascinated with Hattie's past and begins trying to find out what happened to her--and her family members. But a series of more and more weird events start happening once they move in. Is it just the people of Hartsboro, who don't like outsiders? Or is it Hattie? This was such a good book that drew me from the very beginning. McMahon's descriptive language makes it so easy to visualize her (often eerie) settings, as well as her characters. Along with Helen and Nate, our slightly hippyish couple, we have Olive, a teenage girl from Hartsboro, and her dad and aunt, plus various Hartsboro townsfolk. Olive was a very compelling character; she's been abandoned by her mother and is teased and bullied terribly by her schoolmates, since the town all believes her mom ran off with another man. It's hard not to fall for Olive, believe me. Even Helen will grow on you, too. And no matter what, they are so easy to picture. As with most of McMahon's books, it's layered with that creepy, mysterious edge. In many ways, it's a proper ghost story. But she always manages to write it so that instead of rolling your eyes, you feel a little creeped out, or find yourself looking over your shoulder at night. Hattie herself plays a really strong role in this book, and I liked how well the story set up the idea of how much people (and small towns) fear what they don't know. It's funny, I could guess where a lot of this book was leading, yet it in no way diminished my enjoyment of it. I was completely immersed in the characters, the eerie ghost story, and trying to piece together all the plot pieces. Hattie's story--and that of her descendants--is fascinating. There was just something about this book that I loved: that intangible piece that makes you a part of the story, keeps you flipping the pages, and makes you feel both sad and amazed when you finish the book.

21. Shatter the Night by Emily Littlejohn. Cedar Valley Detective Gemma Monroe takes a break from trick-or-treating with her daughter Grace and fiance Brody to visit a friend, former Cedar Valley Judge Caleb Montgomery. Caleb tells Gemma that he's been receiving haunting anonymous threats on his life. As Gemma, Brody, and Grace return to the Halloween festivities, they hear a gigantic explosion. Gemma quickly learns it was Caleb's Mercedes. The well-respected judge is dead. This kicks off a twisted and grueling case for Gemma and her partner, Detective Finn Nowlin, leading them down the dark past of Cedar Valley. There are ties to former serial killer and the more Gemma and Finn dig, the more disturbing things they find. Even worse, it appears as if Caleb's killer might not be finished. This was such an excellent addition to this series. Gemma has become one of my favorite detectives. I love that she's a working mom, and that she can share her perspectives about working and motherhood with the reader. She's human and fallible. The plot in this one is wonderful. It's creepy and builds up suspense. I love a book that keeps me guessing, and Shatter The Night definitely did that. There are a lot of suspects, and it was really fun to try to figure out what was going on and who might be our bad "guy(s)." The book weaves in the town's legacy, intertwining the history and its elders, so to speak. Littlejohn weaves it all together flawlessly. Interesting story, wonderful characters (the recurring characters are the best--please live forever, Tilly Krinkle), and a strong female lead. What more can you ask for?

22. Good Girls Lie by J.T. Ellison. The Goode School is an elite prep school in Marchburg, Virginia. Each class contains only fifty girls, hand-picked by Dean Westhaven herself. The school has been in the Dean's family for generations. The girls all go on to college--mostly the Ivies--and are the daughters of the rich and elite. Goode is filled with traditions, rumors, haunted tunnels and arboretums, and secret societies. Coming to Goode from England this year is Ash Carr, now Ash Carlisle. Ash's wealthy parents are dead and Goode gives her a chance to start over without the notoriety that follows in her home country. But soon, a student is dead at Goode. She apparently had a secret--and she isn't the only one. I am a total sucker for a good boarding school mystery. Add in the fact that this one is set basically in my backyard, the Blue Ridge mountains of Virginia. This was a captivating thriller that kept me frantically flipping the pages of my Kindle. I didn't know who to believe, what to believe, or what on earth was going on. This is a mystery filled with juicy backstories and gossip. Around every corner, a new dramatic turn emerges. If you like your thrillers with lots of drama and surprises, you'll enjoy this book. It's different, dark and twisty, and quite good.

23. That Night by Amy Giles. The first book I read in 2019 was a memorable one. It's been a year since the shooting in their town changed everything, and Jessica Nolan and Lucas Rossi are each managing in their own way. Jess is trying to care for her severely depressed mom, who can barely get out of bed. That means helping pay the bills, cook the meals, and generally take care of everything. Meanwhile, Lucas is coping by taking up boxing. It helps relieve some of his stress and anxiety--and get him away from the watchful eye of his newly overprotective mom. When Jess and Lucas meet at their after-school job, they realize they have one big thing in common: their shared tragedy. It's not exactly something they want to share. But slowly the two become friends. This beautiful, sad, lovely book. It's such an immersive, amazing read. Giles gives such a great voice to her characters; even though the book has a sad topic at its core, it's also hopeful and touching. I dare you to not fall in love with Jess and Lucas. I really enjoyed the fact that this novel featured a sweet romance, but not a typical one. Jess and Lucas clearly like each other, but don't immediately "meet cute" or fall for each other the second they meet. You can see they need each other, but it takes them time to get there. Giles made the deliberate decision not to write about the actual shooting in the book--it's just the background event that has shaped so much of our characters' lives. We don't even hear about who the shooter was. I really like this decision, because we get to see the horror that a mass shooting can leave behind, without going into the sensational details. Instead we see, close-up, the humanity behind it--the real people affected and how much their lives have changed. There are sad moments mixed in with sweet and funny in such a beautiful way. It's incredibly well-written and I thought it was a very smart way to frame a shooting: it's almost more profound this way, honestly. The depth of emotion in this book--the sadness, the unhappiness--and even sometimes the hope--is staggering. Honestly, this book left me in tears. This novel made me cry, and it made me laugh. I loved its characters and their supporting cast. It offers such a powerful way to look at the aftermath of a mass shooting. It's profound and poignant, and the way it conveys the terror, sadness, and hope of its characters cannot be praised enough.

24. This is Home by Lisa Duffy. Libby lives with her father, Bent and their oversized, lazy dog Rooster Cogburn. And then there's also her Aunts Lucy and Desiree, who live in the apartment above them. And now there's Quinn. Quinn's husband John and Bent served together in Iraq. Bent invites Quinn to live in the basement apartment after John goes missing, suffering from PTSD. Libby feels the place is crowded enough already. And Quinn's not too thrilled to be there either. But, before either of them realize it, they are thrust together and slowly become friends. This is one of those quiet, unassuming books that sneaks up on you, pulling you in with its beautiful writing and wonderful characters. There's no wild plot, insane mystery, or major twist--just elegant prose, a troubled cast, and some real and raw moments that will stick with you long after you finish the last page.
There is a lot going on here--the aftermath of war; family issues; a budding teen romance; marriage problems--but it all works.
There is, of course, darkness here. This novel offers a very thoughtful exploration of the aftermath of war, not only on the soldiers, but those who love them. It's not always an easy read, but I think it's a valuable one. It gives a very unwavering look at the PTSD these men and women face and how it can not only can ruin them, but their families as well. Overall, an excellent and poignant read.