All this time I lived inside a memory: IF THIS GETS OUT.

If This Gets Out by Sophie Gonzales
My rating: 3.5 of 5 stars

The boy-band Saturday is huge and beloved by their fans. But behind their carefully crafted image is four real boys (Ruben, Zach, Angel, and Jon), who are starting to resent all the handling and smoothing that goes into what makes Saturday tick. Eighteen-year-old Ruben is gay, but unable to come out under Saturday's management. Angel is starting to crack under the strain as well, increasing his partying ways. On Saturday's European tour Ruben and Zack grow closer than ever, sharing a moment that makes each of them question their friendship and Zack to wonder about his sexuality. They also realize that if they want this moment to turn into a romance, there's no way Saturday's management will ever allow it. How can Ruben and Zack ever live their own lives and be in the band?

I loved parts of this book and found other parts to be eh. I took me a while to get into this story and honestly to get to know the boys and to be able to tell them apart. The story felt very YA and juvenile and it seemed like you needed to be a boy band fanatic and care about what boy bands do to get into the story. While I sympathized with the band parts of the story, I could take or leave a lot of it. I didn't care for the drug use, the partying, or even all the discussion of the treatment of celebrities.

What I did love was Zack and Ruben's friendship and relationship and the book's exploration of bisexuality (via Zack), closeting in the music industry, and just its delicate look at a budding relationship between two boys. In that case, this was a sweet story of two people falling in love, with the added element of having to hide it. I would have liked to get to know Zack and Ruben's characters more (the whole band, really, but especially Zack and Ruben)--we learn a bit about Ruben's controlling mother and Zack's own mom, but I never felt like I truly knew them and what got them to this place.

This was an interesting story, and I enjoyed Zack and Ruben, even if I wished there had been more character development. I can see this being a big hit with YA music lovers. 3.5 stars.


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