And wait my turn to burn or fade: WITH OR WITHOUT YOU.

With or Without You by Caroline Leavitt
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Stella and Simon have been together nearly twenty years. Simon, a rock musician, has spent most of those waiting for his one big break. He thinks he's found it now, but right before he and Stella are set to leave for California for the show that could change his life, she falls into a coma. Now Simon faces a choice: get on the plane with his band, or remain behind with his love. As for Stella, she's aware of the world around her while in the coma, and when she emerges, she's different, with a newfound artistic talent. Together, Simon and Stella must reexamine their relationship and figure out the path forward.

What a beautiful and striking novel. I discovered Caroline Leavitt through the power of ARCs in 2016, falling in love with her work through Cruel Beautiful World. She gives us another book filled with compelling characters here. I so enjoyed reading a book with a different plot, especially knowing that the coma story was somewhat based on Leavitt's own life. She's a remarkable writer in so many ways.

With or Without You is incredibly well-written--almost poetic at times. It's told from both Simon and Stella's perspectives, including while Stella's in her coma, and some of those moments are quite profound and touching. Both Stella's realizations as she struggles to realize where she is, and Simon's, as he tries to grapple with the idea of his partner being ill, as well as the awareness that he may be losing his last chance at fame and fortune as his band moves on without him.

"It's a kind of blankness. She's been erased for a while and then redrawn. When she comes back, she always feels a little bit better..."

Even worse for both Simon and Stella is the fact that they fought shortly before she fell into the coma. What kind of relationship, each wonders, would they come back into should Stella awake? In this way, Leavitt gives a beautiful character study: an in-depth observation into a flawed relationship. It just happens to be a relationship where a woman enters and exits a coma. It's an amazing look into love, loyalty, and loss. The novel makes you think, drawing you into the characters. What would you do in Simon's situation, you think? Or Stella's?

"Mostly she thought of all the things that she herself wanted, and like Simon's dreams, they had an expiration date she couldn't ignore."

Overall, I quite enjoyed this novel. It's so well-done and such a different and intriguing look at two people trying to find happiness. I love Leavitt's way with words. 4 stars.

I received a copy of this novel from Algonquin Books and Netgalley in return for an unbiased review.

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