And all I know is I'm feeling something I've never felt: PIECES OF ME.

Pieces of Me by Kate McLaughlin
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Dylan grew up with fairly wealthy, albeit divorced, parents and is close to her twin brother. She loves art, and, on the surface, her life seems great. But she's struggled throughout the years--with ADHD and drinking binges. Lately, she's "losing time," often waking somewhere with no memory of where she is or what she's been doing. When she realizes she's spent three days with a boy named Connor without any memory of it, Dylan knows she has to seek help. She's eventually diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder (DID), which starts to help explain why Dylan feels as if there are voices and people living inside of her. But the diagnosis is scary and sometimes Dylan isn't sure she can keep going.

I love Kate McLaughlin's books. This one wasn't quite as emotional as some for me--it's beautifully written, of course, as usual, and I definitely felt for Dylan, but it took me quite some time to get sucked into the story, when normally a McLaughlin book is something I read in practically one setting. PIECES has almost a clinical feeling to it; it covers DID so well that it often feels as if we are reading half fiction, half medical tome, especially as Dylan struggles to figure out what is "wrong" with her (I refuse to classify any mental health disorder as something wrong with a person).

However, the story picks up a lot when she is diagnosed. There's still a ton of explanation of DID, but once we get to meet the other people (alters) who make up Dylan's system, the story becomes more meaningful. DID is caused by trauma when the host is young and they splinter into their alters to protect themselves from what happened. Watching Dylan struggle to realize that something terrible happened to her as a child and then show tremendous strength to learn about DID and delve into that incident is pretty amazing. She's a very strong character and McLaughlin also does an excellent job of giving Dylan's many alters their own personalities as well, as we sometimes get their POV as well.

If this all sounds a little weird, it's really not. The book is very well-done and presented quite well. Dylan struggles to have a relationship with Connor, who turns out to be a remarkably nice person. She has a mom who wants what is best for her and a twin who feels jealous at the attention she receives. I do think some of this story was presented a bit through rose-colored glasses (and McLaughlin even acknowledges that in her author's note): Dylan has a boyfriend who is fully accepting, a family who supports her, and the financial resources to seek treatment. It may not be the most realistic portrayal of DID around. But it's certainly eye-opening, and I believe thoughtfully done (no shame, no mocking).

This is a quiet novel, with the only real plot Dylan's diagnosis and her working through to discover the source of her trauma. It's very dark at times, with a huge set of trigger warnings* (see the bottom of this review). But it's compelling and fascinating and well-done, with McLaughlin's typical laser focus on a topic.

I received a copy of this book from Netgalley and Wednesday Books in return for an unbiased review. Look for PIECES OF ME on 4/18/2023!!

*trigger warnings: suicide, child abuse/sexual assault, alcohol abuse

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